Dear God, so now every day I am carrying in 10 pounds of clean laundry on hangers, a bag with cupcakes and bottled water and everything, my computer, books and knitting. By the time that this is over, I'll be three inches shorter. My shoulders are so tight I feel like my head is going to crack off.

I'll probably start dragging a rolly suitcase around, like I'm permanently about to go on holiday without actually ever going. Here's the way I'm looking at it, the water and cupcakes I can sell for $16, the laundry is worth $12, so I'm killing my back, but I'm carrying very heavy money!

On Sunday I was talking with my mom, and she asked me, "What's an ipod? That's I-P-O-D. I keep hearing about it, but I don't know what it is!" "It's the thing I most want in this world!" I told her, then explained how it's a cd player without the cds, basically.

Yesterday, she said to me "Usually you say you want something and I've already gotten your birthday presents, but this time I haven't. So if you want an ipod and nothing else, I'll get you one." I assured her that I didn't want anything else!

I'm getting an ipod for my birthday! I am so happy!! It's all I want in the whole wide world, except for marriage and babies, and I doubt I'm getting those for my birthday. This year, at any rate.

I did this test that I found through Gael which shows you what colour your children's eyes will be.

This was very interesting and fun, but the most interesting thing about it was that it refused to believe that both of my parents have blue eyes while I have green eyes!

I insist, Eye Calculator, that I do in fact know what colour my parents eyes are/were, and my mother has dark blue, nearly violet eyes and my father had light blue eyes, sky blue, and my eyes are green as grass. Is the Eye Calculator implying that my mother is not an honest woman?

The Eye Calculator has not met my mother, and does not know how incredibly hilarious that is! The woman was friends with Errol Flynn and never slept with him, for God's sake!

Current favourite penis enlargement spam line:

"Can it reach?"

I hate to break it to anyone, particularly those in the penis enlargement business, but it doesn't have to reach across the room or anything, you can actually walk right up to the girl. In fact, you're supposed to be very close indeed! Of course, if you are lying on top of her and it still doesn't reach, then you might have a problem.

The thing I love about this, is that it's actually worse than my apartment. Someone is messier and more of a packrat than me! Glorious. (via Gina)

Today's horoscope:
You're sending out nothing but positive vibes, and you're in such a good mood, it's positively contagious. Don't be selfish. Spend some time with your friends tonight, and spread the good stuff around.

One year ago today:
Later on, at home, I was talking to Mom on the phone, and she mentioned a kind of pancake that her housekeeper made when she was a kid, baked in a pan in the oven, which sounded just like what I had eaten. So, in a complete co-incidence, I went to a restaurant in Brooklyn and got my mother's favourite childhood Belgian dish!

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Last Updated Wed 18 May 13:29:09 2005