You wanna know something?

Every single day this week, without trying at all, I have been early to work. Monday I was an hour early, because I had to give my theatre keys to the show that I'm babysitting, and then after going to the library I ran out of things to do, but every other day I've been invariably 10-15 minutes early.

I know, who am I and what have I done with Kymm? I think it helps that I have been getting home at 9.30p rather than 11p, which means that I go to bed before 2a, which means that I wake up before my alarm at 10a, which means that I have time to have some breakfast--either to make it myself or go out and grab some, which means that I leave the house between 11a and 11.10a and make it to work before noon without rushing.

It's been the most peculiar week of my life. It's a fact.

So the new kids have started to work in the box office this week, since two of the old kids just left. One was the guy who would look at me with cold dead eyes, so I am not weeping at his departure, but the other was this little dyke whom I was just crazy about, absolutely my favourite person who has ever worked here.

Anyway, it's been all about the new kids this week, one is a very nice, quiet little girl, and the other is a straight boy. Since I have been here, there has been a distinct lack of straight boys in the box office, so this one sent the hormone level just skyrocketing yesterday.

Not my hormone level, the one inappropriately young boy that I am crazy about is more than enough for me, but the hormone level of the other girls in the box office. The flirting and the giggling was really hilariously out of hand yesterday.

Today, it is completely over. I guess they either got it out of their systems, found out he coasts on charm and not much else, or he has a girlfriend.

I'm not crazy about him, because he's one of those people with whom you just cannot have a normal exchange of sentences, since he insists on every single word being a joke. This bores me to tears, especially since it doesn't give me a chance to be funny, and that just isn't acceptable.

On the other hand, the little dyke whom I will sorely miss was like that too, and in a week or so I either got used to it or she calmed down and she became my favourite. Mostly because she was invariably friendly, a trait which is worth its weight in gold around here.

Last night was opening night of Moira's show, running in rep with the one-acts, which was cool, but still no intermission, so still no concession money.

They at least did better at the box office than the one-acts had, and I did make $9 on water and a glass of wine, but for the first time ever, I went home with every cupcake that I brought in.

I would have been completely annoyed about the whole evening, except that Mark came and visited again. I know he's just killing time before rehearsal, but he's killing it by voluntarily hanging out with me and making me laugh, so I'm happy.

I have so many things that I must buy! Now! But I have no money! And why do I have no money? Because the stupid credit card people who foolishly gave me money now really insist on getting it back again, so I had to give them every penny I had that wasn't rent.

1. I really need a new pair of black jeans, because my current ones (that I have only had since January, might I add) have giant foot-long holes in the inner thighs.

This is my own stupid fault, because it started with just the seams going and had I sewn them up right away, they would have been fine, but I didn't, and then the fabric started to tear, and now there are giant foot-long holes in the inner thighs. I wear these jeans to work. Nobody has noticed yet, because the big tattletale no longer works here, but still.

2. If I don't get Pamie's and Go Fug Yourself's t-shirts tomorrow, I won't be able to get them at all. Why I want them is a mystery, because the last time I got any Glarkware (Tomato Nation's Saucy shirt), the size XL was marked XL but was maybe a medium. And a small medium at that. Not an XL person alive could fit that shirt on anything but a Barbie.

This time I'm not getting the girlie tee, but the regular and am hoping for more normal sizing. If I can manage to have $40 between now and tomorrow. For shirts that might not fit. But are so super-cute and well-designed and will not exist after tomorrow!

3. I told Mark that I wanted to get the Shockheaded Peter tickets now so that we could get good seating, but I need to have $58 to buy the tickets with. He'll give me $29 right back, but I still need the $58.

4. All my damn friends have books either coming out or already out and I haven't gotten them yet. Okay, Mimi Smartypants and Wil Wheaton and Heather Hamilton are friends in my fevered imagination, but still. They are fellow journallers! It counts! I need these books! Less than I need pants, admittedly, but I need them!

5. I have simply got to go to Trader Joe's and get some cheap wine. Not that I've sold more than a glass this week, but I could have made a much higher profit last week if I had paid 2/3 less per bottle. But if I am going to drive my ass out to whatever New Jersey, I'm also going to buy a couple of cases, because why bother otherwise?

The only way this will work out is if like 50 people come to the show tonight (I think I have six reservations) and they all want to drink lots of water and wine and Snapple and Pepsi and apple juice. Either that, or if my tax refund magically appears in my bank account where it belongs.

I was thinking of buying an Ipod with my tax refund, because I want one so very badly, but frankly, I should use it to buy jeans and badly-fitting t-shirts and theatre tickets and maybe pay a bill or two.

It's definitely time to start selling shit on ebay again.

For some completely unknown reason, I have this overwhelming urge to answer the questions "How are you doing?" or "Are you ready to go?" with "Fab Five Freddy told me everything's fly" instead of "Fine" or "Okay" or even "Cool beans".

Please help me! I know I'll end up saying it to one of the 14 year old children that I work with and they won't understand and will think that I am even older and more peculiar than they already do!

But seriously, wouldn't it be great? To just come busting out with that sentence like you are the coolest popsicle in the freezer? And where did that come from? That popsicle line, I have never even thought that sentence before! I think I need more rest.

Maggie Smith just walked by the theatre, stopping in front on the pavement to chat with The Big Boss (Male Version). Man, my celebrity sighting quotient has gone up about a million percent since working here!

Today's horoscope:
You've got a double-dose of extravagant astrological energy coming your way -- and you'd better just prepare yourself. Day two of hedonism has already started. Don't let any midday guilt interfere with it.

One year ago today:
I swear, if there were an Olympic event in using up a box of Kleenex in the quickest amount of time without actually being sick, I would win it in a heartbeat. Buy your shares of Puffs Plus stock now, I have no doubt they are going to go through the roof!

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Last Updated Fri 29 April 15:56:09 2005