So last night we saw The Passion of the Christ at the Academy.

I expected to like it, I really did, especially after Ebert and Roper howled about how it was the most wonderful movie in all the land. Well, by me it was the most boringest movie that I have seen in a long while. I don't think the reaction that Mel was looking for when Jesus died is, "Finally!" but that's exactly what I muttered under my breath.

I checked my email on my phone, I tried to read by the light of the screen, I was bored out of my tree. I was not actually aware that they were planning on making a movie about the last 12 hours of Jesus' life in real time.

Some things I liked, it wasn't all bad--in fact it wasn't bad at all, it was just ponderous, repetitious, one-note. And frankly, pretty anti-Semitic. Wait a minute, I guess it was bad after all.

There were bad Jews and good Jews, obviously Jesus and his disciples and Mary and the Magdelena and everybody were Jewish and good, but I did notice that the more evil any particular Jew was, the more stereotypically Jewish he looked--i.e., a bigger nose and curlier hair. And I thought that that was a bit much.

Also, the Romans were all either too stupid to know better or weak. Poor Pontius Pilate, he was a good good man who didn't want to hurt Jesus, but his hands were tied! Horseshit. Caiaphas and his gang were all smart and sly and knew exactly what they were doing, so even if the Roman soldiers were turning Jesus into flayed Frank from Hellraiser, it was because they were stupid and evil, not because it was personal, they would have happily flayed anyone. Therefor, the Jews were the ones who were really bad, because they knew exactly what they were doing and did it anyway. And it was personal. And the whole thing was pretty ugly, in that fashion.

Also, the guy who played Herod clearly watched Superstar a few too many times, because he so completely stole Josh Mostel's performance that I expected him to start singing, and somebody should have told the Magdelena that Maybelline wasn't in business back in Roman times.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how'd you like the play? Well, I loved Satan, whom I couldn't tell until I saw the credits whether the actor was a man or a woman, and Mary was great, as was Peter, and Jim Caviezal did a nice job in the flashbacks when he could have a character to play. The problem with the Passion, as a whole, is that it's fairly one-note. Everyone either plays pain pain pain or sadness sadness sadness, or possibly vicious joy vicious joy vicious joy, and you have to be a really great actor to make anything of that.

I wanted to like it, I really did. But I didn't.

Today's horoscope:
Activity becomes you. By now it should be obvious that your work is an extension of your character. Branding and naming specialists hit the nail on the head. Cleverness follows you from room to room.

One year ago today:
It wasn't so much a very good movie, but it was sexy and bloody and violent and Benicio and Tommy Lee had two knife fights and I came about eleven times. But if the blood and the sweat and the fight to the death are not your particular fetish, I wouldn't really recommend it all that much.

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