I watched The Hours three times yesterday. That's a lot of hours.

It's my library DVD this week, and it was absolutely wonderful. The funny thing is, though I saw it in the movie theatre twice and loved it very much, I had forgotten. I remembered it as being something that was fine, that I liked, something not worth buying, so when I was cleaning up my Amazon lists, I flung it off and onto the library/Netflix list.

I'm insane! How can I not want to own this? On the other hand, if I waited to buy it or get it, I'd never see it, so it was only due to my not wanting it that I got to see it three times yesterday.

Three times was, of course, because there are two commentaries, so I had to see it in every way there was to see. And it was interesting, because one commentary was Meryl, Julianne and Nicole individually discussing their sections, and the other was by Stephen Daldry and Michael Cunningham--the director and the novelist, talking together about making the movie together. So you get to see it all from every different angle.

Amusingly, the one this that you can really tell from the careful way that Julianne and Stephen Daldry talked around the subject, that that kid playing Richie must have been an absolute hellion.

Thoughts while watching the Tony Awards:

I was walking down the street to the theatre tonight and saw several people wandering around in tuxes. I figured that they were random Tony audience members a few blocks too far west and in need of sodas from my deli. Either that or they were late for prom.

Great to see Hugh Jackman hosting again, particularly without the Van Helsing hair. The thing that I love about him as that he seems to be game for anything, throwing himself into this opening number with such glee that it's a treat to watch. Like watching a little kid who hasn't learned to be self-conscious yet.

Is a revival of Dreamgirls coming soon? I mean, "One Night Only" is a reasonable opening song otherwise, but since Hugh's backup singers are wearing actual Dreamgirls-like costumes, it seems a good guess. Or perhaps the theme of this year's awards show is "A Salute to 1982" or "The Shows That Kymm Zuckert Saw in New York While Staying at the YMCA and Auditioning For Colleges".

Aha, the backup girls have been introduced as the three trios from Hairspray, Little Shop and Caroline, or Change, respectively. Well, you can't blame me for being confused, especially those Hairspray ladies, those wigs are Dreamgirls to the life!

Of course, the Rockettes! My God, Peter Allen will live in Hugh forever, everywhere he goes does high kicks in a line of dancers--he did it on Ellen, he did it on Inside the Actors Studio, he does it every night in The Boy From Oz, had he gone anywhere near Radio City Music Hall and not really kicked with the real Rockettes he might have had an aneurism and died right on live TV. His entire life has been leading up to this moment.

He is one of the most masculine dancers that I have ever seen, outside of Gene Kelly. Possibly because he doesn't seem the slightest bit worried about appearing feminine. Clearly, or he wouldn't be playing Peter Allen without a giant brightly coloured neon sign over his head blinking, "STRAIGHT!"

The Britney Spears and Christina Aguilara and Justin Timberlake fans all over the country are watching this and saying, "Why is he panting like that? What is wrong with him?" and the answer will ring out across the land, "Because when you are singing live and you dance that hard, you get out of breath! If you are singing live, that is. Into a microphone. Not lip-synching. To a tape," and the kiddies will roll their eyes and say, "Whatever, Grandpa."

Christ, this is hilarious. All of the casts from all of the musicals have come out for the end of this opening number, so you have The Boy From Oz's very flamboyant dancers with the big Copa sleeves and Avenue Q's puppets and denizens of the Emerald City from Wicked and the sailors from Wonderful Town and a bunch of Orthodox Russian Jews from Fiddler! All singing a song from Dreamgirls! It's all terribly "We Are the World", as if all of these people of various races, religions and sexualities--hell, some of them aren't even human--if they can get along, why can't the rest of us? Unless the cast of Assassins is somewhere in that crowd and shoots them all.

Hugh just said, apropos of dancing with the Rockettes, "I knew these long legs would come in handy one day!" And everyone around the country simultaneously thought of another thing he could do with his long legs were he in the room with them. I needn't re-iterate what that thought was. You thought it, too. Don't deny it.

Billy Joel and Jane Krakowski are presenting, and Billy starts out by paying tribute to the soldiers who stormed the beaches of Normandy. World War II! There's a war that everyone can get behind! Especially since it clearly made the Tonys possible. Hey, I'm not making fun of WWII, Billy Joel made the connection, I'm just trying to understand it.

It has taken me approximately 45 minutes to watch the first eight minutes of this show, what with all of the pausing and the typing. It looks like it might be a long night.

Why did Isabel Keating look surprised when they called her name? Not as a winner, but in reading the list of nominations. Did she not know that she was nominated? Was it just an amazing stroke of luck that she happened to be there tonight, wearing a nice frock and sitting in a prime seat down front? Maybe Billy mis-pronounced her name somehow.

And I wrote that before Billy made an absolute hash out of Jennifer Westfeldt's name, and I don't just mean her last name, he also seemed to have trouble over "Jennifer". Billy, soldiers died on Normandy beach so that you could present at the Tonys, stop fucking up!

Anika Noni Rose wins Featured Actress in a Musical for Caroline, or Change. Which is her Broadway debut. This is the nice thing about not having ever appeared on Broadway yet, I can still do that, I could still win for my debut. And I'd probably cry just as hard while being not nearly as cool and pretty as she just was.

Phylicia Rashad and Puffy Combs are presenting, and there were shrieks from the balcony when they came out. Sean waved his hand at them and said, "Whassup?" How did he know that they were not shrieking for Phylicia? She is gazing at Sean like a proud mother. It's very sweet. On the other hand, he just read his lines in a very stilted manner, as though he was translating them from another language, then when it was Phylicia's turn, she hip-checked him out of the way and read her lines as though they were flowing as honey from the lips of God. It was all very, "this is how you do it, sonny."

Sean's stumbling through the male nominee names as Billy Joel did with the females. Any particular reason why nobody glances at the list beforehand and says, "By the way, how do you pronounce Cerveris?" He seemed relieved when he got to Michael McElroy.

And Michael Cerveris wins Featured Actor for Assassins, my favourite musical in the whole world, though I still haven't seen it on Broadway. Phylicia gets his name right. Hey, he was in Tommy, one of my other favourite musicals of all time! Holy shit, it's the guy who played Tommy! He sure has changed. Well, it's been a decade. I sure do love the Internet Broadway Database! And now, back to our show.

Sigourney Weaver, alien-killer, and John Lithgow, alien, are presenting together. That's a pretty clever pairing. They are also two of the only actors tall enough to appear standing on stage next to each other.

Jack O'Brien wins Best Direction of a Play for Henry IV. Last year he won for Hairspray, so either he has a great range as a director or that was one really unusual production of Henry IV! Y'know, it's really easy to say that it's not a contest and just to be listed with the other nominees is a great honour when you have just won your second Tony in two years! Talk to me about it again after you've lost a few times, Jack.

Ha, there is a fiddler fiddling on the roof! Well, on top of the Radio City sign, at any rate. Very cool. They are performing "Tradition", actually picking it up in the middle of the song, but the evening is only three hours long, and you do want to fit that bottle dance in! This is really selling the show, it never occurred to me to see it. Hey, I saw Zero do it when I was a kid, I figure that it is completely unnecessary ever to see it again!

Now, I like Tony Bennett as well as anyone else, but I really would rather see something actually on Broadway now that hear ol' Tony sing "Lullaby of Broadway". However, seeing him stand in front of a huge illuminated "TONY" sign is pretty cool.

I'm so glad that they are doing clips from the plays, they don't every year and it makes the musicals seem overly important. Wait, maybe they aren't. Is it really only that Brian Stokes Mitchell is going to explain the plots? Yes, that was it! What a gyp!

Chita Rivera, presenting Best Choreography, mentioned the late Gregory Hines, but not the equally late Gwen Verdon! Gwen was also a dancer-Tony winner-Broadway star, she worked with Chita and she died more recently, where's a little love for Gwen? O wait, she died four years ago. Never mind. Listen, it's taken me nearly two hours to get through 41 minutes of this, give me a break!

Kathleen Marshall wins for Wonderful Town. A nice little irony, acknowledged by Kathleen, coming to the big city was fulfilling your dreams by winning a Tony for a show about two sisters who go to the big city and fulfill their dreams!

Edie Falco comes on to present, introduced as "An outstanding stage actress and three-time Tony Award winner," the subtext being "We're not having her on the show because she's on The Sopranos, seriously! No, really! Are you listening to me? This is a stage actress! We don't even have cable TV!"

The actress singing "Lot's Wife" from Caroline, or Change sounds like she's losing her voice in the middle of the song. On the other hand, it's an extremely emotional song, so it is still working, but I'll bet she wishes she has a little more control than she seems to have right now on national television. Maybe she has bronchitis like me. If she starts coughing, then we'll know. She just finished and walked offstage, I hope they turn off her body mic before she does what any actress would do in her place, say "That sucked ass!" Not that it did, but I could see on her face that she felt that way.

There's Harvey Fierstein! Who is Broadway personified? It's either Harvey or it's Nathan Lane. baby. He's presenting for Best Book of a Musical. "As the book-writer for at least one big smash and one big, smelly flop, I always wondered if anyone really knows just what goes into making a great musical. When a show is a hit, the critics trip over themselves, not knowing who to laud and applaud the loudest--it's that marvelous score, those urbane lyrics, that irreplaceable star! But only when the show's a flop does anyone even notice the book-writer. And then it's always all our fault. Well, the people that you don't get to blame this year are..."

And the winner is Jeff Whitty for Avenue Q. The Avenue Q folks in the audience look shocked as shit. I'm dying to see this show, it's really trying to do something different with theatre and apparently succeeding brilliantly. Puppets having sex on Broadway, what could be better than that?

Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel are performing an okay number from Wicked. The two of them are far better than the song. Okay, flesh-coloured mics attached to the foreheads of actors is probably something that works well on Broadway, but on TV it looks as if Kristin Chenoweth has a giant zit.

It's funny to see Hugh Jackman and one of the Avenue Q puppets tell each other that they are rooting for each other, considering how hilarious every Australian I know think that phrase is!

Hey, there's John Rubenstein! A blast from Broadway's past, in sort of a "Hey, remember the '70s?" kind of way? Aha, I get it. He still can sign, even this long after Children of a Lesser God (or maybe he brushed up on it for this presentation), and he is introducing the number from Big River, a show that was done with deaf, hard-of-hearing, and hearing actors, two people playing each role. I wish I had seen that show. I always forget to go to Broadway, I'm so busy around the corner on Off-Off-Broadway.

And LL Cool J is presenting, why? Because Puffy's on Broadway now? He acknowledged it, though, because he is too cool not to, "I know when you think of the Tony Awards you don't immediately think 'LL Cool J'!" Aha, he introduced his co-host, Carol Channing! This is one of those Tony Bennett/Red Hot Chili Peppers, Martha Stewart/Busta Rhymes moments. And the crowd goes wild. Except for Nicole Kidman, who doesn't seem aware of who the freaky little lady in silver is. Could have done without their rapping together, but it was mercifully short. I'm certain that the nominees in their category are kind of hoping that someday they'll get to presenting the award.

Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx win for Avenue Q! Everyone was expecting a Wicked sweep, thinking that Avenue Q was too weird, even though it is a big hit, but so far the naysayers have been wrong.

Anne Meara and Jerry Stiller are introducing the number from Wonderful Town, presumably because they are old enough to remember the original production. Unfortunately, they are doing one of the worst songs in the show, "Swing". I guess it was chosen because it's such a great showcase for Donna Murphy, but sort of in a "look at all of the impressions my little girl can do" kind of way.

"This just in, Carol Channing has been arrested in a drive-by shooting!"

Anna Paquin is just racing through the nominations for Featured Actor in a Play. I guess they told her backstage that LL Cool J and Carol Channing took up too much time, and nobody cares about the plays anyway. They certainly don't feel the need to perform scenes from them! No, they'd rather have Tony Bennett sing for no good reason! Don't mind me.

Brian F. O'Byrne wins for Frozen. "I'm not sure if a grinning Irish guy who's speechless for 45 seconds is gonna make good TV, but it might be just what you get!"

Audra McDonald wins Featured Actress in a Play for A Raisin in the Sun. "This is Audra McDonald's fifth Tony nomination and fourth Tony win in ten years!" C'mon, Audra, share the wealth, that's awfully greedy.

There's Victor Garber! My beloved. He must be about to introduce the number from Assassins, as the original John Wilkes Booth. Yep, that he is. God, I love this musical, if Stephen Sondheim had called me on the phone and asked me what I wanted to see in a musical, it couldn't be more straight up my alley.

Wow. They did the reprise of "Everybody's Got the Right to Be Happy", and all of a sudden I started watching it like someone who doesn't know the show, someone who doesn't automatically think that failed and successful presidential assassins are inherently an obvious musical concept, and it really hit me how weird and powerful and scary a number this is. Okay, I need to stop being stupid and see this show, because if it closes and I miss it, I will never ever ever forgive myself.

Everybody. Please. There is no cow in Moscow, it's pronounced Mos-coe. Also, Lith-goe, but that's entirely besides the point.

Martin Short is presenting Best Director of a Musical. "I'm thrilled to be here, and even though I wasn't the Tonys' first choice as presenter, it really doesn't bother me because Robert Blake is such a different type..." "A musical is only as good as its director. The same also goes for the CIA..." "Directing a musical is not easy, but if you cast it properly there's usually someone in the chorus line who is..."

Yay, Joe Mantello wins for Assassins! He also won last year for Take Me Out. So wait a minute, the 2003 Best Director of a Musical is the 2004 Best Director of a Play? And vice versa? Hang on here, people, if you are trying to give the awards to a fewer number of directors you aren't being very subtle about it!

The Best Lighting and Sets and so on were done off-camera this year. C'mon PBS, pick up the slack! Some of us like to see those awards! Some of us also like to read the credits, but that's another show.

Jimmy Fallon? Did he get lost on his way elsewhere? Ha, again I am with the psychic tonight, he said, "I know what you're thinking, there's been a horrible mistake, I ended up here at the Tonys and Brian Dennehy was sent to the MTV Movie Awards." Aha, he's introducing Avenue Q, they had to have someone hip and young. But they couldn't find anyone, so they got Jimmy. Ha! I slay me.

O God, what a great fucking number! I have to watch it twice. "It Sucks to Be Me", a brilliant song that was waiting to be written. And my God, Gary Coleman is a character in the show! Okay, clearly I will never get a ticket to this show, because everyone in America will be flocking to NY to see it and it will be sold out until 2006. Hopefully people will be too squicked out to steal all the tickets for Assassins and there'll be some room left for me there.

You can really tell when somebody has just had their name mis-pronounced when their nomination is read. They get this little wry grin on their faces, just a small twist of the mouth, as if to say, "I get it, I'm not so big." I have seen that little twist many many times tonight, and there it is again on Swoosie Kurtz's face. I know that it's pronounced with a soft s sound, Swoosie, even if Scarlett Johansson doesn't!

Phylicia Rashad wins Leading Actress in a Play for A Raisin in the Sun. No surprise there, she got all of the reviews. She's a bit over-dramatic in her speech, I almost expect Jon Lovitz to run out on stage, "It's ACTING!"

Jefferson Mays wins Leading Actor in a Play for I Am My Own Wife. What do you have to do to beat Simon Russell Beale and Frank Langella, not to mention Kevin Kline and Christopher Plummer in Shakespeare leads as Leading Actor? Clearly, you have to play 40 characters including a transvestite in a play about the cold war! Yeah, that'll do it.

O dear God, Hugh is doing his number from The Boy From Oz, "I Am Not the Boy Next Door". Heavenly day, he certainly has made it clear who damn well is going to win Leading Actor in a Musical! To win for Leading Actor in a Play, you need East Berlin, transvestite, one man show, check check check. To win for Leading Actor in a Musical, you just need those tight gold pants. Hugh Jackman and his Huge Ackman, as they said on Queer Eye. It does show how lame the show probably is if what they are choosing to have him do in his big number for the Tony Awards, is improv with Sarah Jessica Parker. Brilliantly, might I add, he's great, and I'm sure it's better than the written part of the show is.

There are 50 more minutes of this show and I've been writing this for four hours. Frankly, it's a good thing that they didn't show the lighting and set awards! I'd be up all night!

Best Revival of a Play, Henry IV, no shock there, not after the Best Director win several hours ago. Yep, I got nothing. The well is dry. Maybe I should go to bed and recharge. O wait, they're about to do Best Revival of a Musical, I gotta see that first.

Hooray, Assassins!! Yeah, okay, maybe I won't be able to get tickets for that, either.

And Best Play is I Am My Own Wife! I could have seen that before it moved to Broadway, saved some money. One of the producers is taking the opportunity to say a few words in favour of gay marriage, this is certainly the venue for it as well as fitting considering the subject of his play, but the music immediately came up to play him off. What' the matter, Tonys director? It's not as though he's not preaching to the choir here!

Okay, I'm sorry, but Mary J. Blige singing a Lite-FM version of "What I Did For Love", for what reason? The show's not long enough? They could have let the I Am My Own Wife guy talk a bit more about gay marriage, that would actually make more sense in the context of the Tony Awards.

Idina Menzel wins, unsurprisingly, Leading Actress for Wicked, having finally scrubbed that green makeup off from her number earlier. She's been the talk to the town ever since the show opened, so much so that even I heard about it, and I never know what's going on on Broadway! Hey, she's there with Taye Diggs! Are they dating or just old Rent buddies? Nope, they're married! Maureen married Benny? That is just so boss, and I can't believe that I didn't know that!

Hugh Jackman wins Leading Actor in a Musical to absolutely no-one's surprise, especially not after he rode in on a camel for his number. Why else would his countrywoman Nicole Kidman be presenting? Because she's this huge Broadway star? I think not. I think that had they even tried to give it to the probably very deserving Albert Molina or Hunter Foster, the entire audience would have risen as one and rioted, ripping angels off the ceiling.

Almost over, bed soon.

There's Nathan Lane and Sarah Jessica Parker, to give that last award and then bedtime...And Avenue Q wins Best Musical! It's an Avenue Q shutout! Is the entire audience up on that stage? The audience seems overwhelmed with joy. It's nice to see a show win that has so much good will behind it.

And after a mere four hours and forty-five minutes worth of watching a three hour show, I'm done! Goodnight.

Melissa is such a show-off! She got her Tony entry up not even an hour after it ended, and here it is, 3.30a and I'm still writing mine. Of course, it won't go up until probably closer to my birthday, but it's these few hours that she beat me by that really chap my hide!

Not to mention the fact that I can't go to bed now, because now that I've finished mine, I can finally read hers!

Today's horoscope:
Don't even try to be dutiful. You've done enough of that. Today was made for fun, and you're definitely due. Turn off all electronic gadgets and grab your sunscreen.

One year ago today:
Just so you know, I can't be a homewrecker if there is no actual home to wreck.

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Last Updated Mon 7 June 03:44:09 2004