So yesterday Melanie and I were going to get together just the two of us, but her husband had to work so she had the kids so we decided to do something next week instead, and it was raining and I was moping around whining how I wish I had gone to Disneyland, because I always plan on going in the rain and it wasn't going to rain again for days and days, and then Mom said, "Why don't you go?"

It never occurred to me that I could decide to go to Disneyland at 12.30p! I always go as early in the morning as possible to maximize the Disneyland Fun, but one can still have plenty of fun getting there at 3p, as I found to my joy.

Now, the reason that I like to go in the rain was because one time about eight years ago or so I went in the rain and it was the most fantastic time I ever had at Disneyland. There were maybe 500 people in the entire park, no lines for anything, it was like the park was open just for me.

This time it wasn't quite as empty, but I never had to stand in a line for longer than 20 minutes, and that was only like twice, most of the time it was around 10 minutes, and most of that time was just spent walking the gauntlet that you have to walk, not actually standing still praying for movement.

I had a swell time. I did all of my traditional things, except for get cotton candy, since I guess they don't sell it in the rain, what with it being made of sugar and will indeed melt!! Because I always sat that about people who don't want to get wet, that they are made of sugar. And this actually is! Made of sugar! Get it? Never mind.

I went on Small World and the Matterhorn and Star Tours and Honey I Shrunk the Audience and Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion and I got fudge and shot at the shooting gallery (40% success rate, kind of low for me but it's hard to sight at night) and I bought my yearly t-shirt which is possibly the ugliest one ever, but I have to get the dated New Year shirt so too bad for me.

I also did a couple of things that I never do, like the Storybook ride where you go into the whale's mouth. I think I went on that once about fifteen years ago, and wondered why? Ah yes, because it's boring as shit. Little tiny models of castles with the boat lady describing how Ariel or Aladdin or Pinocchio live there until you fall into a coma with the boredom. Also, I went on the train around the park, which would have been far more interesting had it still been light and possible to see anything at all.

Also I went on the "new" ride, Winnie the Pooh, sitting in the space where Country Bear Jamboree should be. And why is new in quotes? Because it may be a new ride, but there ain't nothing new about it. It took me about thirty seconds to realize that there was a reason that it all seemed so familiar, and it was because it was the Alice in Wonderland ride. I mean, exactly.

I mean, there were all of these Winnie the Pooh characters, but the entire ride was slapped on top of the template of Alice, I could name out exactly what moments were what, like instead of the Cheshire Cat hanging upside-down, it was Tigger, and instead of the hedgehog rolling around, it was Pooh sleeping and rolling, and instead of the unbirthday party at the end there was the birthday party.

Who the hell do they think they are fooling? Nobody who grew up on the Alice ride, that's who!

At the end I wandered out to the gate at 8.15 thinking that I've never left the park after five hours in my life, what was wrong with me? Then I realized that it's much quicker when you don't spend hours in line. I wandered around for another hour, then went home, stopping to watch the fireworks from the parking lot.

It was a fun day. Always go in the rain, people! Your butt might get wet sitting in the puddles of water, but it's worth it not elbowing your way through thousands of people all day long and wishing for a gun!

Look! Look how few people were parking!

Many surrealistic Small World photos.

The only interesting part of the stupid storybook ride.

The teacups sitting still. Teacups don't spin in the rain.

Sleeping Beauty's castle.

Reflections in the lake.

A few surrealistic Pirates of the Caribbean photos.

Angel in New Orleans Square.

Some surrealistic photos of the Nightmare Before Christmas Haunted House. Everything has to be taken without flash, you see...

Jungle Cruise.

Small World all lit up at night.

Reflections in a puddle.

I don't think that this camera takes very good fireworks pictures...

Still going until the Epiphany!

Today's horoscope:
You may be out of style, but you're never out of sync. Virgo is an expert or champion in what matters most. Your interviewers are wasting their time if they expect to turn up incriminating evidence.

One year ago today:
The fact that they raped her makes them rapists, but is that who they really are? It's a play about mob mentality, and about what horrors people who think they are good are capable of doing.

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Last Updated Mon 5 January 02:06:09 2004