The update on my allergies is still good.

I have found that the 12 hour pills don't last no twelve hours, but then it would be impossible for any pill to last a certain amount of time to the second on every person, and I'm kind of big, so them lasting about nine or ten hours doesn't make them inadequate.

So it's possible to make it through most of the day without using up a box of Kleenex! It's a miracle.

So yesterday the Shakespeare opened, which I did not have to run the box office for, but I have to train the people to do it and bring in my kit and pick up the money at the end of it, so I figured that I would see the show.

It was okay, it's a problematic show to start with, but there were some good performances. One in particular, Geoff, was absolutely spectacular in that he had two teeny roles that he played to the absolute fullest. The first was so small that it was nonexistent, just two lines at the end of a scene. But it was what he did before those lines that really impressed me.

He sat in the back of the scene, taking notes on the case that was being given before him, and I couldn't stop watching him. He wasn't pulling focus, he was adding to the scene, and he was absolutely hilarious. He was the living proof of there being only no small parts, he made something out of absolutely nothing. It was the epitome of stone soup.

Also on the stage, one of the nuns wore so much makeup that she looked like Shirley MacLaine in Two Mules For Sister Sarah, only she wasn't supposed to really be a prostitute.

I finally watched the Sesame Street special, which was swell, except for way too much Elmo's World crap. And I do not accept Cookie Monster's new voice because all change is wrong. Or The Count's new voice. Ernie's new voice isn't bad, at least.

I love Sesame Street, and I am exactly the age of the first kids of watch Sesame Street, so much so that I clearly remember seeing it say "Episode #1" at the beginning of, well, the first episode.

The best part of it is remembering all of the old counting songs and so on. "Ten chocolate layer cakes!" I'm singing along without actually realizing that I remembered them until opening my mouth out it comes. "1, 2, 3...4, 5, 6...7, 8, 9...10, 11, 12 ladybugs came to the ladybug picnic!"

And is there any other show on earth that has had better guest stars? Even Will and Grace comes way behind Sesame Street, what with Harvey Fierstein and Julianne Moore and Seth Green and Dr. Phil all dancing themselves to sleep. Beat that! And then, in older clips, Harry Belafonte, C3P0 and R2D2, Madelyn Kahn, and Lily Tomlin singing and signing.

The Sesame Street before Elmo was born, that's what I consider Sesame Street. Not that I hate Elmo, I don't mind him much, there's just waaaaay too much of him. Both on this show and sort of generally.

Mr. Hooper! I remember Mr. Hooper! I started crying the second that clip started. I knew that Maria and Luis had a baby, but I never knew that Susan and Gordon adopted a baby! Leave it to Sesame Street to be inclusive to all the kids who watch the show. My favourite live human on the show is Bob, of course, because who doesn't love Bob?

Some years ago my friend Nina did costume work as Snoopy, and the best gig was to do a touring show with Bob, but the Snoopy that usually did it was the Snoopy with the most seniority. But one day, she broke her leg and Nina got to work with Bob, which thrilled all her friends.

And I want everyone to know that he is the nicest person in the world! And that's straight from Snoopy's lips, so you know it's true.

Okay, there is officially nothing funnier on earth than my beloved Cookie Monster singing, "Another season, another reason, for eating cookie!" Even funnier than Tony Bennett singing "Slimy to the moon, he wants to wriggle 'mongst the stars," because Slimy is a newer character and doesn't count.

Well, those last clips showed that I can cry at absolutely anything, since Big Bird being told that Mr. Hooper wasn't coming back, Big Bird's nest being destroyed, Elmo telling a fireman that he wasn't scared anymore (those last two clips were from 2001 and 2002), and the final title card that the show was dedicated to Michael Jeter all individually were plenty sufficient to set me off, together they sent me straight over the edge.

I also watched some of the new Iron Chef America, which did not impress me one bit.

Some shows you can re-make well from one language to another, Steptoe and Son/Sanford and Son comes to mind, while other things, like the two versions of The Vanishing, don't so much work when moved to America. Iron Chef America I would put more in the latter category. It's not as awful as a Vanishing with no burial, but it frankly isn't worthy of polishing the real Chairman Kaga's shoes.

Whose idea was it to do it with no audience, Kitchen Stadium should be re-named Secret Stadium, because there ain't nobody there. A great deal of the tension and excitement comes from the audience. And where's Ota?! I love Alton Brown like I love my life, but as playing basically a combination of Fukui-san and Hattori, he isn't a patch on the real things. And whomever that dork is, meandering around as a D-level Ota, I don't even want to know.

And if you are going to make a "Making-of" introductory show all about how they made the Japanese version and everything, why do they continue the silly fiction of Chairman Kaga being an eccentric millionaire rather than an actor?

I guess it's because they have a Chairman Kaga Jr. (apparently, his nephew--who else does this remind of Uncle Jack suddenly appearing in Land of the Lost? Only me?) also pretending to have something non-fictional to do with the goings on.

The real problem is that there just plain is no excitement. Americans just don't naturally go insane over with glee over spiny lobster, and they just can't manufacture it. I'm going to watch the show, I'm going to watch all of the episodes, but baby, it's like the American version of Coupling, why watch it when the real thing is still on?

And regarding Morimoto's dubbed voice? No comment. Except that the only excuse for the aural horror would be if the original voice actor were actually dead.

Can somebody please explain to me why I have received practically no email all day? Is the entire world too busy to even send me spam? Doesn't anyone care about the length of my penis anymore?

Today's horoscope:
If someone offers to buy you a nice cup of tea, and smiles at you a little too sympathetically, it might be time to realize that you've been emoting a bit too much lately. Calm down, accept the tea and relax.

One year ago today:
"Jay's guests tonight include David Duchovney and stuntman Benny "Boom Boom" Cosky who they say will blow himself in a PortaPotty. Blow himself up."

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