So last night I went to yoga for the first time in pretty close to a year.

I had gotten an email from Donna saying that she was doing a special three Friday kundalini yoga classes specifically for clearing up your aura. Now, I'm not all airy-fairy and into the whole aura thing, but kundalini yoga was what I was taking before and I love it, so I really wanted to take these classes.

The problem was that they go from 6.15p to 7.30p and I, of course, had an 8p show and I could not in a thousand years expect the Latest Usher in Captivity to arrive early enough to take care of the box office until I arrived. And there was going to be a huge house.

So I looked at the reservation list and saw that a couple of my ushers were coming to the show, so I called them and one, who has actually done the box office before, was willing to fill in for me. So I could go! I figured that I could make it to the show by about 7.40p before opening the house by jumping into a cab and zipping uptown twenty-four blocks as soon as the class ended.

I foolishly thought that the class started at 6.30p rather than 6.15p, so I was a bit late, but only missed some of the warmup.

Class was great, hard but great. In kundalini yoga you don't do those pretzel poses that you do in other brands of yoga, but sometimes there are these things that about kill me. Like, can you hold out your arms straight out from the shoulder? Of course you can. Now, can you pull them back as far as you can behind your back? Of course you can. Now can you bring them forward straight in front of you until your hands are about three inches apart? Of course you can.

Now do that for eleven minutes. Go ahead, I'll wait. I did about a minute, then rested, but then did the remaining nine minutes and fifty seconds without stopping, which was a bit of a shock. It was supposed to be an eyes open exercise, but I couldn't have done that in a million years.

After it was over, my arms dropped to the floor and I literally couldn't move them. We had to do another arm exercise after that which was actually harder than the eleven minute extravaganza, since my arms were basically noodles at that point.

I had to leave during the last meditation, as we were clearly going to go over and I was pushing it by staying as long as I did already.

So I went out and tried to catch a cab. It was to laugh. First of all, how insane was I to think that I would be able to get from 23rd and 6th to 46th and 8th in ten minutes at 7.30p on a Friday night? Pretty insane, let me tell you, because there were no empty cabs.

And let me tell you something, there is no way to lose your inner piece faster than by trying to catch a cab right after a yoga class, particularly when someone steals the only cab in sight after trying to flag one down for fifteen minutes. Not to mention the fact that raising my arm to hail a cab was no joy after the eleven minute exercise above.

I finally went to 8th Ave., found a cab, got caught in traffic, jumped out and ran the rest of the way, arriving at the theatre at 8.08p. Good thing I had arranged to cover myself!

Man, am I a dummy. You know how in this entry I mention that I can't get my headphones to stay in my ears? And that every time I have ever had the kind of earphones that you stick in your ears they have always fallen out?

Well, it turns out that you don't jam them into your ears, you hang them on your ear sills! And they hang there! And you can hear everything just fine!

Years, years of thinking that I have abnormally small earholes, when what I really have is an abnormally small brain.

Today's horoscope:
Don't you dare go out tonight wearing anything that might even remotely be confused with 'business clothes.' Dig deep in the back of your closet and find something sexy. It's Saturday -- Monday will be here soon enough.

One year ago today:
I was so glad about the weather, because the Mouse is Wild enough without it being what I called suicide weather like it was last week. But now we are back to no help from the elements.

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Last Updated Thurs 22 April 20:48:09 2004