I dreamt last night that I was trying to get into a house that I knew was mine, and nobody had left the key out for me where it was supposed to be, and I kept running round and round it, panicking. Then I finally tried just turning the knob and it opened right up because the door was unlocked all along.

Possibly I can read something into that. You think?

Things that make me happy:

Match Game. That show is guaranteed to make me smile, it is not possible to be depressed while watching an episode of Match Game, and on Mondays from 9a to noon they have a little marathon, so as long as those last, everything is pretty much okay.

Sunshine. "On my shoulders makes me happy..." There hasn't been much lately, as we are getting the back end of the hurricane, which means driving rain, but I remember that there used to be sunshine and there will be again. When the sun soaks into me, I feel all sadness dropping away.

"C is for Cheney, that's good enough for me."

TiVo.

Pepsi

Nail polish. I have far too many nail polishes not to be happy with the idea of putting on a new colour.

Within the next month I am going to see both Eddie Izzard and Randy Newman in concert. There's no way that that wouldn't make me happy!

Stories, anything I can make into a story. A complicated, annoying experience makes me happy if I can make it into a good story. Just being sad doesn't make a good story, being lost in New Jersey trying to get to the gynecologist makes a great story.

Cleaning. Actually, I hate cleaning, but right after I have cleaned, that's a great feeling, looking at what I have done, seeing the neatness, that's the best. Also, putting things in alphabetical order, I love that. I alphabetized my DVDs yesterday, that was the best.

The fact that Omar is alive and in the world. That's the biggest one. I don't need to see him, I don't need to be with him, all I need is for him to remain alive, and that brings me happiness.

And one last one--just now, on The Ellen Degeneres Show, there's the world's youngest yodeling champ and she just sang and yodeled "Cowboy's Sweetheart", and Ellen said, "That seems just like so much fun, it must make you, how can you yodel when you're sad? You can't, can you?"

So there you go. yodeling, you can't be sad when you're yodeling.

On the other hand, on the same show they have this guy named Thicke who performed a song built around a sample of the worst song from the 70's, if not the worst song in history, "A Fifth of Beethoven". Wait a minute, it's not built around a sample, it's built over the entire song.

This does not make me happy. On the other hand, I cannot stop listening to it, I am mesmerized by its sheer awfulness.

The thing that I need to remember is that not everything in the world is about me, that when Omar seems distant and odd, he is rarely actually being distant and odd about me, and that I should ascertain what the fucking problem is before going into a tailspin.

As Tracing said to me the other day, "What happened to Pollyanna Kymm?" Well, I'm back!

Today's horoscope:
Your spirits are high whether you're invoking cosmic powers, cheering on your team or raising a toast. A healthy body generates healthy hopes and dreams. Knowing what you can do inspires you to try even harder.

One year ago today:
Well, there was a point during the play where I thought, "My God, what if I go crazy and stand up and start screaming, 'Stop, stop, o God, stop!' It would be so embarrassing!"

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Last Updated Tues 16 September 11:34:09 2003