Hmmm. Hmmm. Interesting.

Last night, Omar and I were supposed to go see Cynthia's show last night. We had talked about it when we spoke on Saturday morning, it was the only night I could see it, and he wanted to go as well, so there you have it.

I rang him yesterday during the day and left the exact address of the theatre and told him to call me if he changed his mind or couldn't come or something, but he didn't call. Also, he didn't show up. It's now 1.12p on the next day, and he has yet to ring me and acknowledge the fact that he stood me up.

Hmmm. The funny thing is that I am not angry at all. If he calls me I won't pick up the phone or call him back because frankly I don't want him to know that I'm not angry. I should be angry, but it's not there. If he doesn't call for a week, I'll call his wife or email his daughter to find out whether he is in the hospital or something, but I won't be calling him any time soon.

I wonder which would be worse, if he was in the hospital or if he just was being cold and hurtful? I wonder which option I prefer? Honestly, I don't know.

I want to tell him that if he is trying to make me stop loving him that it is going to work, and he needs to think long and hard about whether that's what he wants, since once he goes down that road, there will be no going back, and everything that we have had together will be destroyed.

If that's what he wants, that's what he's going to get, but I think that he will lose part of his soul in the process.

Today's horoscope:
You're somewhat defensive even though no one questions you. It's your right to do as you please. As a committed, honorable member of this community, you can make unilateral decisions over the next few days.

One year ago today:
I rehearsed all day, then collapsed at home, sick sick sick. This show is going to kill me, it really will.

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