So, the other day Melissa was complaining that she had to get up at 3a for her flight to JournalCon, and Kate was going on about how she had to leave the house at 6a, so I replied that:

"My flight isn't until 11a, I am going to casually roll out of bed at the decadent hour of 7a, all rested and refreshed and wander out of the house around 8a or so. Ah, it's good to be me..."

To which Melissa retorted:

"Hello? Do you think you're talking to people who don't know you? You will stay up til 4 AM, oversleep, miss the van/get lost in the car/get stuck in traffic and make it to your gate out of breath with minutes to spare. But it's cute how you're pretending you've got it all planned out."

I called that slander, and Kate remarked that in order for it to be slander, it had to be untrue. Ha! I thought, I'll show them!

Okay, in hindsight let me formally say, what Melissa said? So not slander. Not even the smallest bit, frankly.

On Thursday night I did in fact stay up until 4a. I didn't mean to, but I didn't get home from the show until 11p, and I had to pack and wash the dishes and so on. I packed my middle-sized bag, which I thought was probably small enough to go on carry-on, but I always check a bag, I am not of the cult of carry-on.

I was ready to go to bed at midnight, but I couldn't, because, and here's the portion of the entry where nobody feels sorry for me (™ Mo), I had to watch TV. I didn't want to, I had to! I had to clear some space on my TiVo so that I would have space to TiVo new programmes while I am gone! I cannot be expected to miss Joan of Arcadia and The Handler and Hack and Waiting For God and As Time Goes By and Ebert and Not-Siskel and SNL and Miss Match and LA Dragnet and Law and Order Criminal Intent, can I? I mean, seriously?

So yeah, I stayed up until 3.30a until I made the TiVo my bitch and had it agree to save everything until Monday, and then I went to bed, thinking that if I set my alarm to 7.30a I'd get 4 hours of sleep, and I could snooze until 8a and leave the house at 8.30a, leaving an hour and a half to get to LaGuardia an hour before my 10.55a flight. Made sense, yes? So one would think...

The problem was that very time I go to sleep really super-late, that is when I catch Monty between sleep-cycles and he wants to cuddle, and what with him giving me that "Elizabeth! I'm comin'!" Fred Sanford-like scare on Tuesday, I had no intention of not cuddling back, and he kept me up until 4a with the purring in my ear and the walking on my hair and the incredible stinkiness of his breath.

The alarm went off at 7.30a, I snoozed until 7.55a, got in the shower, and was out of the house by 8.30a. Right on schedule! But what I forgot about was rush-hour traffic. I haven't had to deal with the morning rush-hour in, well, ever, so I didn't think that maybe there would be people waiting and bulging vans and buses swanning by bursting at the seams.

I finally got into the city at 9.05a, but I couldn't immediately leap onto the airport bus, because I had to check my bank balance (an important check bounced, whoops!), call the bank to make certain that the check would be re-deposited after my unemployment checks clear (all is well on that account), buy a soda at Duane Read, and get breakfast at McDonald's--you know, the important stuff.

Of course, it wouldn't have made any difference had I not done that stuff, since the airport bus was right there as I walked up to it at 9.25, and it's not as though there was a different one that I could have gotten twenty minutes earlier. And there was the slow going cross-town, the stopping at Grand Central to get more passengers, and the stately, languid trip to the Queens Mid-Town Tunnel. At least it was free, since the driver passed me by as I was fumbling in my wallet and forgot to get back to me.

I got to the check-in desk half an hour before the plane was due to leave. Close, but I made it! Or actually, not so much. It turns out that half an hour before the plane takes off is late. Who knew? If I hadn't had to check that bag, I could have flung myself onto it as it was pulling away from the gate, but since there was the checking situation, they switched me to the 1.55p plane. I will never make fun of the cult of the carry-on again! Nor will I ever again accuse Melissa of slander. Insight, that's what she got.

Of course, had I known that my flight was going to be at 1.55p, I would have slept longer, or watched more TV, or done something more important with the time than sitting on my ass at the Air Canada gate because that was the only place that I could find an outlet to plug my laptop into. Of course, then I would have missed that flight. It's pretty much a given, at this point. Isn't there a way that they can tell you that your flight is a few hours earlier than it actually is, so that you are fooled into arriving early rather than missing your flight for the millionth time?

And by you I, of course, mean me.

You can tell when you are in coach, because there is no room to open a laptop. Steerage passengers shouldn't need to work on laptops, they should read their US Magazines and be happy about it.

The fact that the businessdork in front of me insisted on having his seat back notwithstanding (I don't care if they are made to go back, I think there is nothing ruder), I still wouldn't have been able to open the screen up all the way. So I sort of had to sit sideways and have it partially in the aisle. Or have it on one end like a clam and stick my hands down inside of it, or put it on the middle tray and try to type right-handed. None of these options were particularly ideal.

So I went to Houston and slept most of the time rather than watching whatever that Reese Witherspoon movie was, then had Taco Bell at the airport because God forbid they feed you on an airplane anymore, then went to Austin. And I'm here! At last! And it only took 11 hours from the time that I left my house to the time that I got to the hotel.

I'm sharing a room with Kate and Erin and Elizabeth, and Melissa and Eliza and Amy and Mo are in the other room. We are the Great Eight, although hopefully we will manage to occasionally speak with someone else over the course of the weekend.

I have so far said hi to An Bei and Weetabix and Colleen and Amanda and Lynn Never and Emily, and glanced over the throng of others but was too tired to try to figure out whether I knew any of them or not.

And I got my Swag Bag and an extra Box of Fabulousness that was apparently only for panelists, but I got it just for being me. Either that or I'm on a panel that I don't know about. Or it was a mistake. I like the first option better, that I got the t-shirt and the soap and the notebook and the Devil's Thingy keychain just because I am well-loved and should be given things even if I don't deserve them.

Works for me!

Anyway, we ate and then came back to the hotel and I was so tired that I went to bed at 10p. O, it's an exciting weekend here in the great state of Texas thus far, let me tell you that!

Eliza and Erin.

Elizabeth, Eliza and Erin.

Eliza and Amy, sitting in a tree...

And then looking at the picture that was just taken.

Erin, Eliza and Amy. Honestly, after the first night we clamed down a little bit about constantly taking pictures of ourselves and each other. But only a little bit.

Amy, Mo and Elizabeth.

Mo and Erin bonding, Eliza is only about the pictures.

Erin and Amy.

Erin, apparently posing for the cover of People magazine.

My tats, by Eliza.

Everyone completely ignoring the camera, except for Elizabeth, who is in Full Pose Mode.

Mo drinking water. It took me like eight tries to get this picture right.

It was a good night to be in Austin, apparently!

The two Ms.

Erin and Emily. See? I did see someone besides my seven roommates!

Today's horoscope:
You're an acknowledged authority and a brilliant strategist. If you seem lucky, it's only because you're so familiar with the variables. Offer to train someone whose intentions and background are promising.

One year ago today:
It's Le's new show, his first full-length in a while and he both wrote and directed it and it would be politic for me to attend, besides the fact that he is my friend and I want to support him, but I was just horrified at the idea. Fortunately, the show was canceled.

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Last Updated Fri 17 October 23:27:09 2003