I've been thinking about Katie all day.

I first met her when she was eight months old. I had joined Love Creek and my first show was called Minnie Molly and also in the cast was Cynthia, who would bring her infant daughter with her to rehearsals. She was very good and not that disruptive, but when she would cry we'd all lunge at her to comfort her--I remember Patricia, the lead in the show and an absolute screaming bitch, only acting actually human when she was holding Katie.

After that I didn't see her much until she was three, which was when I started babysitting her. Cynthia and Jon had divorced and she needed a sitter, and we had become friends, so I would drag myself out to Ossining and sit for Kate. I remember that she was always up and down like a jumping jack after being put to bed.

My favourite memory about Katie was when she was four, and I was putting her to bed and she said, "Kymmie, I'm four. Are you four?" "No, I'm twenty-seven." "Is Mommy four?" "No, she's (age withheld)." It was like she knew that she was four, but had no real concept of what four actually meant. She was struggling with the reality of the concept of four-ness.

After they moved to Weehawken, I sat more, since it was so much closer to Brooklyn than Ossining was. She would get out of bed and tell me that she had to go to the bathroom. "Don't tell me about it, just go and then go back to bed!" One time, we cleaned the kitchen, she and I, as a Mother's Day present for Cynthia.

She wanted a little sister so badly, afterwards, when she complained about Molly, I would remind her of how she begged for a sister.

I've been in her life for as long as she can remember, though I don't consider myself having helped to raise her as I have with Molly and Bonnie since I only started living with her full-time when she was nine, but one of the reasons that Cynthia wanted me to move in with them was because she thought that I was a good influence on Katie, because I understood her better than her parents did, because I had been a similar child.

The rest of this entry has been removed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

Today's horoscope:
Reliable witnesses know the difference between what they saw and what they think. The best winners have compassion for the losers. Your next action speaks volumes about your character.

One year ago today:
I was leaning hard on the accent, "No R's, there are no R's! Stop saying your R's!" and Ronnie said "Excuse me, I have to go to the Est Oom."

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Last Updated Wed 15 September 20:55:09 2003