So did I mention my new therapist? I don't think I did.

I had seen my old new therapist last week, and I liked her, but my only reservation was that she was a little too old. Not that age makes a difference in ability to be therapeutic, but I thought that I'd be most comfortable with a therapist say between 35-45.

Also, I thought that perhaps I should see more than one person before making a final decision, since maybe I only liked her because I had nothing to compare her to. So I decided to call Tracing's therapist.

When I was trying to find someone who took my insurance, it turned out that she did, but it took Tracing a while for it to occur to her that it didn't matter whether I saw her therapist or not. I mean, it's a little incestuous, but since we are not each-other's problem, it really is not an issue. And for the past year I've been listening to Tracing quote this woman, so I already have a pretty high opinion of her.

So I got there, sat down, and she said, "So, why are you here?" and I started to laugh. I've been telling everyone the story of my first experience of therapy, so I told it to her too, and she said, "Well, if you don't want to get into it right away, we can fill out this form!" so we did, then I got into it.

Honestly, it's very complicated to explain the whole Omar situation. There's so much to it. But since I had done it the week before, I realized afterwards what I didn't say clearly, and how I almost made it sound like a normal relationship without noticing, because it is normal to me. This time, though, I didn't fall into those traps.

I liked her. I liked her and I decided to continue with her rather than the other one. So I had to call the other one and break up with her. "How am I going to do that?" "She won't take it personally, it's something that all therapists have to deal with, don't worry that you will be hurting her feelings."

So when I went home, much later, I called the old therapist.

ME
(gabbling like a harmless idiot)
Hi, it's Kymm Zuckert calling! Um, I need to cancel my appointment for tomorrow, and, um, I'm not going to make a new appointment. You see, I, um, well, I had initial appointments with a couple of other therapists, and I've decided to go with one of them. But it was really nice meeting you, and thanks for everything!

THERAPIST
(grimly)
Uh-huh, okay.

ME
Bye!

THERAPIST
(click)

I think that there is the tiniest chance that I just may have irritated her! It's just possible that she might have taken it personally!

So after therapy (going back in time, do try to keep up), I went to Portico and got some lemon verbena shampoo and conditioner, then to Fish's Eddy and got another Cynthia Rowley plate, a cereal bowl (it's hard to get the plates and soup bowls because I can never remember which pattern I have on which plate or bowl), then to the farmer's market in Union Square and got some carrot cake.

I hope that going to therapy doesn't always mean the retail therapy afterwards, since I will not be able to afford all of this buying!

There was more buying after that, but mostly for the show. I went to Virgin and went down to the Classical section to ask for a cd with the Tarantella on it, but the guy didn't know how to help me, so he sent me up to world music and told me to look at the Italy section, to read the backs of the cds until I find something with the Tarantella on it.

Weirdly, that worked, and I didn't have to look to long for it! Quite startling. I also bought the DVDs of About a Boy and Spinal Tap, but they were really super on sale, so it practically wasn't like spending any money at all. Seriously!

Then I went to look for the Norwegian 10 Kroner notes.

Man, what a nightmare! First I went to one of those little Bureau de Change stands on Times Square, where the girl had to look up the fact that the money was called kroner, or "krones", as she called them. And she certainly didn't have any!

Then I went to the American Express exchange in that hotel on Broadway, but all they had was one 50 and one 100, and I had no intention of spending that much money on foreign money that I only want as a gesture in the show, since the translation is all about pounds and 10 shilling notes and so on.

Then I just kept going to bank after bank, Amex after Amex, without a 10 kroner note in sight, until I finally ended up at the Citibank on Park Ave. And it was different immediately. The currency exchange wasn't one teller at the end of the row, but a whole room all by itself with a man behind the desk whose life's work was currency!

"I need four Norwegian 10 kroner notes." "They stopped making the 10 kroner note recently, they switched to coins." "You're kidding!" "I'm really sorry." "No, God, do you know how many places I've been asking for them? Thank you so much for telling me!!"

He showed me a book on currency with all of the notes that all of the countries have (man, you should see that Swiss money, it's vertical!), and I decided to look up the Swedish money. They have 20 kroner notes, and I decided that that was close enough. He had four of them, and I bought them for $11. He was very sweet and didn't charge me a transaction fee.

Let me tell you, if I ever need to change money again for the rest of my life, I'm going to Emil at Citibank. He has my loyalty forever.

Then I had rehearsal uptown at Michael's, where I regaled them with my kroner story. We worked Act III into the ground, and it's getting closer to being solid, though Omar still doesn't know his lines and all of the blocking went to shit in the rape scene.

Afterwards, we walked back downtown, he and I, like we did the day after the horrible day when he told me that he wasn't in love with me. And it's like that never happened. I need to remember that it did happen, as we are holding hands and kissing and cuddling together and having dinner at that Ollie's noodle place, it's so easy to pretend that he loves me like I love him, since it's all the same as back when he was. Or when I thought he was. It's hard to remember that I was wrong about that, since everyone else thought he was, too.

We had a good time, and we talked about the show and the work and our lives and how he's trying to work through his shit, and I love him so much that I feel as though I'm bleeding from the eyes.

Today's horoscope:
At this moment, the stars want you to use your work as your play. Know your subject, and answer when called. Singles are most attractive when they appear independent.

One year ago today:
And you know what? It is actually possible to keep all of your weight off of one foot while only having a wall to propel yourself with--it takes intense willpower and concentration and the ability to grasp onto a sheer surface with your fingernails.

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Last Updated Sun 19 October 21:31:09 2003