Yesterday was horrible. I got about six seconds of sleep the night before, I had a terrible headache and was nauseous which meant that I didn't eat all day, even though if I had eaten it would have made me less nauseous.

Also I was incredibly upset and worked myself into a real State about the company. After the tech the night before, I just started thinking about the direction the company is going. Of course, it turned out that I was entirely wrong--not actually entirely, but I made it go much farther in my mind.

By the time I was done, I had left Love Creek and couldn't start my own company like I want to and I was very unhappy and had no friends. This is what I can manage to do in my mind when I work myself up into a State. My States are countries.

I managed to stagger out of the house by around 3.30p (having canceled my 10a therapy appointment--when I was still awake at 4a the night before I thought it was wise) and went to the rental place to get a stump instead of a log, then went to a restaurant on the Upper East Side that sells Coke in glass bottles. At $4 a shot. I needed seven of them. Oy. I thought the bartender was having me on when he said it, but apparently I was in the most expensive Italian restaurant in the city, so there you have it. He did give me one free.

Then was the final dress rehearsal with all props and costumes and lights and sound and music, and it went...okay. They still aren't picking up their cues, the four person rule is still in effect, but it was better than it had been the day before. And today it will be better still. One hopes.

Afterwards, I managed to forget to get the theatre keys back from Charlotte before she left, so I had to get the emergency keys in order to lock up, and after I did so and had given them back, I realized that I had left my purse in the theatre and had no keys or money.

Directing a show is like being pregnant, there's a brain cell loss.

So, we open tonight! Here's hoping that it's as good as I know it can be. Or at least closer to being as good as I know it can be.

Today's horoscope:
Your needs are changing. Virgo is no longer in complete control, but the illusion holds for a few more days. Phase out your involvement in a project that might one day consume you.

One year ago today:
And it felt really peculiar not seeing or speaking to Omar, we've been joined at the hip for the past two months, it threw me off balance.

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Last Updated Thurs 20 November 16:14:09 2003