So I spent the day absolutely livid at Omar, not because of anything that he had done, but because he hinted that he was going back down the rabbit hole and I just couldn't take the motherfucking thought of that again.

I was so angry, and I wondered whether it was all worth it, this fucking roller-coaster that I'm on with him, since the roller-coaster that I am on by myself is fucking bad enough, but I decided that it was, though I certainly don't have to be thrilled about it all the time.

Then he called me while I was at Cynthia's show, twice because my phone was off and he's not used to being able to reach me right away, and when I talked to him he was fine and he was happy and we decided to see X2 today and everything was great.

So perhaps I should wait until I'm really sure that he's going to abandon me before being angry at him for doing so. You think?

And what was Cynthia's show?

It was an evening of Shakespearian scenes, songs and monologues that Omar and I were supposed to go to together but when he bailed I decided to go anyway, since it would have been so rude not to, especially since I want Cynthia to come see my show this week.

It wasn't a completely wonderful show, there was some really awful stuff, but there was some really good stuff as well, and considering how Omar and I acted at the last show we saw together it was probably best that he didn't come.

The best actress was Cynthia, of course, and the best actors were the guy who played Hamlet's Ghost and the guy who played Brutus. Brutus was so good, in fact, so much better than the guy who played Marc Antony, that if the play were actually cast that way, the play would have to end differently than it has for the last 500 years.

The bad actors were extremely bad. The worst actress had no competition at all, it was the same woman who horrified us with her 50 year old version of Nina in The Seagull, this time she did a couple more roles that she was completely inappropriate for as far as physicality as well as age. She clearly has a mental picture of herself that has nothing whatever to do with reality.

The worst actors were another tie between the guy who did Richard III, Caliban and Bottom who had such an appallingly bad accent that it absolutely had to be real--he sounded like Balki or Serge in Beverly Hills Cop, and the guy who played one of the worst Othellos that I have ever seen, followed by absolutely the worst Lear to have ever appeared on the American stage as well as a song and then the Seven Ages of Man speech.

Interesting how the best actors left you wanting more and the worst ones you couldn't get off the stage with dynamite.

On the trip home on the subway, Cynthia and I were dishing the show when I started to cough. It wasn't a huge cough, but I am asthmatic and sometimes I have this kind of hollow, barking cough to clear out my throat a bit. And I coughed that cough, then I coughed it again, and the homeless man who was lying on the seat across from us cried, "SARS!" and leapt up and ran from the car.

I laughed and laughed. I never realized that now with the insane SARS fear going on that all you have to do to get a seat on a crowded subway is to stand over someone and cough and the car will clear out faster than you can say, "Intitial symptoms mimic those of the common cold".

Lenten entries missed:

Mo visited the Hellmouth, insisted that it was in fact possible to critique poetry, celebrated birthday week, had a crisis of faith, loves kissing best of all (I'm right with you on that one, Mo), went to Disneyland. I've got to tell you, if I could pick anyone to trade lives with right now, I'd pick her. I think she would try to talk me out of it, and Christ know she wouldn't want my life, nobody sane would, but I dig the idea of being Mo.

Today's horoscope:
You feel constructive and socially useful. Someone unexpected plays a positive role in your life. Recognize someone's strength and put this person where he or she will do the most good.

One year ago today:
If you are late, take responsibility for it, that's what I say, all lateness on earth doesn't revolve around me.

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Last Updated Thurs 8 May 03:04:09 2003