So yesterday we rehearsed, and weirdly we did it sitting down. We have done the rehearsals for this show all bass-ackward, with full movement and kissing at the first read-through, and now in the second week we sit still and just use our eyes and voices.

We got a great deal accomplished, though. It was a very interesting rehearsal. Omar wore these loose leather pants that Cynthia and I both vetoed for the character since they made him look like he has no ass. Not that he has the kind of ass that makes people stop in their tracks, it is small, but it shouldn't look concave.

I told him to wear the pants that he wore to my show the other day, the pants that when I got a good look at them, stopped me in my tracks. The pants that will forever be known as The Good Pants.

If he wears them in the show, we could use them as part of the advertising. "See Cynthia and Omar make out! See Omar with his head in between Kymm's legs! See none of the girls wear any underwear! See Omar wear The Good Pants!"

I swear, we could raise ticket prices.

After rehearsal, Cynthia had to go home so she gave me her SAG Film Society card to go see Dreamcatcher.

And boy did it suck! No, it didn't just suck, to quote my last show it sucked in a statistically significant way. It sucked so spectacularly that I almost recommend it, since it certainly was never boring, it was absolutely hilarious. But didn't Lawrence Kasdan used to be good? Not to mention Bill Goldman? What happened to them, did everyone involved with this film take leave of their senses?

It actually started out quite well, but when it started getting all alien-y it got real silly real fast. Morgan Freeman got absolutely howls of laughter, the poor man had to say these terrible lines in a forceful manner absolutely seriously and straight-faced.

What must it be like to be making a movie and know that you are in a dawg? I mean, if you are Morgan Freeman or Tom Sizemore then you know that you will have a career after it is over, if you are Damian Lewis or Timothy Olyphant then you should be a little worried.

And the thing is, of course, that all of the actors were quite good, they threw themselves into the operatic badness with gusto, as they really had to, there was nothing wrong with the performances. I always love Jason Lee, and Damian Lewis was brilliant in The Forsyte Sage last year. Also, the children playing them twenty years before were very good and well-cast.

But the story? And the writing? Dear God. There was the magical retard and the face-eating vaginas that you poop out and the evil military cover-up and the psychic children and the whole thing just made me glad that I didn't pay $10 to see the damn thing.

Today's horoscope:
If Virgo has to step in and take charge, no one will complain. Your style is unique and effective. Foster creativity by setting up a system that lets it happen easily.

One year ago today:
Hey, the winner of whatever that award was brought up his wife and baby, I guess that's the one that's been fussing all night! You try to bring a baby into the Oscars, just see what would happen, the guards would swat it to the ground as you attempted entrance.

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Last Updated Thurs 27 March 13:43:09 2003