So yesterday was our second rehearsal with Le, and our first rehearsal with the other actress in the show, as she hadn't been cast before. Le wasn't sure whether to cast her or not, as she is very young and very new to the company, and this show is so sexual that he didn't want to scare her away, not that she has to do anything or touch anyone, but she's got a couple of rather delicate lines.

She's going to be very good, I think, and I didn't notice until later that we are all redheads of different shades! And since we play sisters, or possibly parts of the same being, it works very nicely.

When I got home I threw out another whole bag of trash and another whole bag of recycling. Also, I did some more laundry and folded everything again.

I think I might be able to do this every day. I kind of got the idea from Omar, who throws out or gives away or gets rid of three things a day every day, but of course if I did that, I'd still be cleaning a century from now. I just have started on my shelves and am taking everything off and looking at every single thing, throwing out or recycling as much as I can.

And the important part is not to feel that I need to finish anything--the rule is that I fill that garbage bag, once I am finished I can certainly continue if I choose, but I can also stop if I feel like it, even if half of the mess under the table is still under the table. It's the need to finish that makes me not start, generally.

I wonder how long before I give up? It's only been two days, but I know myself. I'm not going to worry about that now, though, I'm just going to slowly clean and get rid of things until I have an apartment that I can let people into. I am tired of living like a fucking animal, I want to live like a human being.

One more thing, I recently got an email from my friend Donna Davidge, a yoga instructor. For the past five or six years, every so often I email or call her and say, "Now, now is the time that I want to start taking yoga!" and she tells me about her classes, that I proceed to not go to. Well, yesterday I thought, "Hey, I'm unemployed, what better time to start!"

So I emailed her and asked her which of her classes would be best for a rank beginner, and she said the new classes at JAI either that night or Saturday morning would be best, as they are very small. Of course, last night was my opening, so it will have to be Saturday. So I'm doing it! I'm taking yoga at last! Operation Stop Living Like a Fucking Animal is off to a flying start.

By the way, Donna will be featured on Martha Stewart on the 28th!

And then there was opening night. I wasn't planning on getting there until 8.30p, but I volunteered to bring in my black (a piece of black cloth used for masking doorways and things) in order to have one show be able to have their show not look idiotic--one actress was knocking on the audience door and calling for the other to let her in, but she had to have the door half open so that she could be heard, but you could see from the audience that that was what she was doing, and it really made both actresses look like assholes.

So I was there around 7.15p and hung around until my show started, ran my lights and sat there tensely knitting, hoping that everyone would know their lines. There was one slightly terrifying moment when one went up on her line and it seemed like approximately 100 years before Lee, the only other character who could say that line, said it, and as opposed to tech when everyone was calling everyone else Donna, once Kelly was called by her actual name rather than her character name, which was slightly confusing since there is a character named Kelly in the play as well, as evidenced by the fact that the title of the piece is Et Tu Kelly. No flies on me, see.

It went reasonably well, and the five people in the audience seemed to dig it, which is what matters.

I spent the entirety of the show and beforehand, though, I was famished because I had forgotten to eat again, and I started thinking of the fact that I had actually not had a chai crème frappuccino since Christmas, so as soon as it was over, I dropped into the Starbucks on the way to the van.

I walked up to the counter and was about to order (actually, I was about to be told to go to the other counter), when this guy behind me said, "Kymm?" I turned around and stared blankly at him, which didn't really tell me anything, since I don't recognize half of the people that I actually know, and he said, "I read your journal!"

I about fell over. His name was Nels, and he said that he had dropped me a couple of emails in the past, (I recognized his name) and that he was in town for a conference. "How did you recognize me, I don't even have pink hair anymore?!" But he did! It was really cool.

We talked about Lancaster, and he said that he was sorry about Elvis (who is still in the freezer with a pizza balanced on top of him, by the way) and I got my frap and left feeling like a real celebrity. He wrote about it in his blog, here. Pretty ultimate, ain't?

Omar is acting peculiar. Not so's you'd notice, really, Cynthia didn't, but I think he's pulling away from me. He seems just a little distant, like he's taking a step back. I don't know what to do, I really don't.

He had a date last night--he didn't tell me but I always know, there are certain tiny little clues that are like giant neon signs as far as I am concerned. I don't mind him dating, how can I, as long as it takes nothing away from me. And if he doesn't want to hold my hand walking down the street, that's taking something away from me.

I know that I am not as important to him as he is to me, and there isn't much I can do about that, since the one who feels the least wins, but I don't have to be happy about it.

Today's horoscope:
You understand that, at least for now, your most radiant moment has come and gone. Watch for sparks from the corner of your eye -- you'd love to be proven wrong. Busywork helps pass the time between peaks.

One year ago today:
I will say though that I was quite thrilled that nothing even remotely vital was dropped in my lap all day. Mostly because I would have barfed on it.

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Last Updated Mon 24 March 20:12:09 2003