So last night was my date with Omar, the first time we saw each other for real after the whole thing that happened last month.

God, it was so nice to see him, it felt so right. I couldn't stop staring at him. I felt like I needed to fill my eyes in case something happened and it was another month before we saw each other again, even though I'm running the box office again tonight so I'll obviously see him, but just in case, I wanted to be certain.

So last night was my night, opening night belonged to the latest ex, tonight belongs to the cousin, Saturday belongs to the wife. But last night belonged to me. He's compartmentalized his life, nobody who loves him gets along with each other, everyone wants him to themselves so he has to give them their time. I don't want to be someone whom he has to make time for, I want to be someone that he wants to be with.

I told him how wonderful he was in the show, how I'd never seen him do anything like it, and that he looks so handsome with his hair long like that. He blushed and said, "Okay, okay, I'll marry you!" I told him that he had seen through my nefarious plot.

We talked about how we are different, that I automatically think that everyone likes me and am shocked and startled when they don't, he automatically thinks that everyone dislikes him and is shocked and startled when they do. We are both wrong, of course, but it's an interesting juxtaposition. He said that he is the heaviest that he has ever been in his life, 153 lbs. I refrained from commenting.

I told him that I couldn't count on him or trust him to be there for me, that I understand that he is going through a period now where he has to be selfish and that was fine, but that I'm not a doormat and if he's still like this a year from now, I'm not sticking around. He had the goodness not to disagree with me, not to say that I could count on him. I appreciated that.

After Moon, after he goes to Lancaster with his parents, we'll start seeing each other again in mid-July. We were walking back to the van and he was talking about that new movie coming out, 28 Days Later and said, "Let's go see that!" I snapped back, laughing, "We are making no plans!"

I refuse to count on anything, we'll just take each day as it comes.

Lenten entries missed:

Nicky had some trouble sleeping, went shopping, she and Stu moved in together and celebrated their six month anniversary.

Today's horoscope:
Someone can't read your outline or score. In spite of all your preparation time, you now have to explain the whole thing in simple language. Next time, make sure that everyone is from the same planet.

One year ago today:
Poking holes for the steam to come through with a plastic coffee stirrer took some stubbornness, but it all worked out, and I did not spend another day having to sell my mother and dine on my own foot like Erysichthon when he had Hunger on his back.

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Last Updated Thurs 26 June 15:52:09 2003