Something has occurred to me. About Boys in the Backroom and my NY bottomless debut.

The way the piece is blocked, and the way that I insisted on it being blocked, I am lying sideways to the audience with my legs pointed stage right. It starts out with the men surrounding me and big handsome Frank on top of me (seriously, my favourite part of the show), then he gets off and the men all scatter to their places while I keep lying there, and after about ten seconds, I turn over.

Well, I just realized that during those ten seconds, I am lying there with Chris, Frank and Omar basically eye to eye with my Secret Womanly Place. They honestly might as well have speculums. Well, my my my. I'm not exactly certain how I feel about this. I was mostly thinking of what the audience would see, not how much pink the cast will be forced to look at.

After the first rehearsal where I go commando, all of my mystery will be gone gone baby. There will certainly be no reason to be shy in the dressing room, that's for sure! Or possibly ever in any situation again.

What has been taking up most of my attention before the Great Snatch Realization, was my hair. No, no, the hair on my head. Get your thoughts back above my waist, people!

It can't be pink for the show, as I think I have mentioned before, it's wrong for the place and it's wrong for the feeling of the show, pink hair is cheerful and funny, pink hair doesn't get gang-raped on a pool table. And I don't want to wear a wig, I like the length of my hair and the way it falls, and I don't want it to look all wiggy.

Which only leaves dying it. Or colouring it, which I would far rather do. Mom uses this Susan Lucci product in between dyings to keep the colour fresh, so she's going to send me some of that, some blonde and some brunette to mix together as I will. I think I'll attempt a light brown, because blonde wouldn't cover the pink.

But I cannot even begin to tell you how horrified I am at the thought of having brown hair. Now, I know that I have a lot of brunette readers, this is no insult, I think that brown hair is lovely, just not on me. I have pink hair, people, when I walk down the street people stare, kids love me, I am a parade wherever I go! But with brown hair, who will notice me?

On the other hand, I will get a ton of shit from everyone that I know. I don't think that I will be able to count the number of startled comments that I am going to get from everyone that I know, or actually everyone who knows me. So yes, I want to be noticed by strangers and ignored by my friends. Or at the very least, not teased for having brown hair.

Man, anyone seen that Bridezilla show last night?

My question is less why anyone would want to marry these loathsome birches, not to mention what kind of insane lunatic spends $100,000 on an eight hour party, but my real question is how on earth did they spin this show when they were getting the brides to be on it?

I mean, they couldn't have told them the title, or that they wanted to see as appalling behaviour as they could manage, did they just try to find the most high-strung or snooty women that they could? The worst one was not Karen, the truly insane one, but the one who was 41 and had been dreaming about her wedding for her entire life. She's the one that old maids like me need to be really careful not to be. O, and that awful one who whined until she got the $15,000 diamond necklace.

But I have the examples of Melissa and Greg, Rosemary and Eric, Deb and Richard (now divorced, but still a great wedding) and Michelle and Marq, all of whom had budget weddings but not cheap weddings, and all of whom actually liked one another on the Big Day.

Today's horoscope:
You're just so responsible. The people who make things happen aren't always the same ones who receive the praise. Take your case to a higher court. This time justice will prevail.

One year ago today:
Well, Saturday, at 8,30a, there was the thumping and the skittering meaning that the dog was running around and an extremely bad little girl was chasing her!!

* Yesterday / Index / This Month / Tomorrow *

E-Mail / In the Belly of the Hedgehog

Graphics by the resolved Saundra!

This page was written by hand. My hand. Only pussies use HTML editors.
Last Updated Tues 28 January 18:28:09 2003