So yesterday I saw Melanie and the monkeys, which was fun.

It's like I'm the queen of the world when I come home, they get revved up to such an extent that one can hardly imagine how they can keep up that level of energy the rest of the year around. Melanie says that they don't usually make such spectacles of themselves, that's just for me.

They are so big, how did this happen? Katherine is 14, Donald is 11 and Rebeccah is 9! They really need to knock all this growing up the hell off. It's very upsetting.

We went out to eat at an Italian restaurant, the linguini with meat sauce was terrific, then drove to see Melanie's mother's new house. In her Christmas card she mentioned that she had gotten married this year and had moved, but she didn't make it clear that it was a fucking palace!

Holy cats, she really stepped in it, what a glorious house. And not only that, but according to Melanie, the new husband is a really great guy, so her mother didn't only get a lovely house, but also a lovely man and a lovely life. She deserves it, too, she hasn't had it easy for the past twenty years or so.

Then we went to Melanie's house. Her new house, that is! It's terrific, with a bedroom and a bathroom for each of the children, everyone isn't all stuffed into a two bedroom place with barely room enough for anyone to turn around. They practically had to take turns sneezing in the old place, there wasn't the room for all five of them to blow their nose at once.

It was a real surprise! The biggest surprise since the time that I came home and Melanie had had Rebeccah without even telling me that she was pregnant. The house didn't spit up in my face, though, which was a real plus.

What other family has this much fun putting money in a parking meter? It's either charming or freakish.

That's the scarf I made for Melanie last year.

Katherine as Cousin Itt.

Ol' Ornament-Face.

This cat is apparently famous for always being on the wrong side of any door.

This is the shot to make people call children's services on Melanie, Rebeccah is so incredibly skinny. Of course, the second they saw the other children they'd no longer think that anyone in that house is starving.

Omar is such a stupid fuck, I am so over his shit. He called me yesterday, but my phone didn't ring, so he left a message. I tried to call him back, but he didn't answer. I called him several times, but he sent me an email, saying that he couldn't call long distance on his phone, he just wanted to say hi and wish me a merry Christmas.

Of course, it's a local call to my cell phone. I have never heard such a lame excuse in my life, how can he think that it's a long distance call just because I'm in LA, the phone is still in New Jersey.

Not even he can be that dense. If he doesn't want to talk to me, why the hell did he call me? And what was he going to do if I picked up? Did he call me from a different phone than his cell? Anyway, sick of him, sick of his shit, he can go to hell.

Today's horoscope:
By almost any definition, Virgo is in love. Sudden happiness feels like a gift or victory at this time of year. Missing persons and lost items come back home. You've returned to the perfect starting point.

One year ago today:
I ended up feeling well enough to shop, but there is no such thing as being too sick to shop two days before Christmas!

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Last Updated Wed 24 December 22:38:09 2003