Seventy-one viruses (viri?) in my inbox since yesterday morning, all the same one, too, the W32.Sobig.F@mm virus. And it's only 11.35a.

Thank you Norton for killing all seventy-one, but it's a bore when you're downloading 80 messages all at once and 35 of them are viruses and each of them take 17 seconds to kill and it takes forever to get the one or two non-spam, non-virus, non-mailing list emails that I have coming to me.

Of course, I'm getting a couple of bounces back to me letting me know that I am sending said virus out myself, something that is not in fact true because I neither use Outlook or any other email system that sends viruses and also because I have done a virus scan and am clean. So someone is pretending to be me. Creeps.

Continuing on my Quest for the Perfect Tan yesterday, I decided that what I really wanted to do was to fill in some untanned areas, particularly the area between my breasts.

You see, because I am the Queen of Cleavage, the tops of my breasts are beautifully tanned, but the tan marks are starting to look like the ears on Mickey Mouse balloons, and the darker it gets the stupider it looks, so I decided to fill in the blanks.

On the TV in the morning they announced the UV Index was 7, which means that without sunscreen you burn in 15 minutes. My reaction to that was not "Goodness me, I had better stay inside out of the sun," but, "Alright! That's good tannin' weather!" However, that was a giant lie, because I stayed out for ages, topless like a French girl, and my tan lines were just as white and the mouse ears were just as clear and mousy. No fair!

Then I remembered that I have some fake tan stuff from a couple of years ago and gave that a shot, and it worked a little. It's amazing how pale my legs still are, though. They have a little bit of colour, they aren't as pale as my belly, which has not seen the sun at all, but they've been as much in the sun as my brown brown arms and shoulders are, yet they stay resolutely off-white.

Isn't vanity boring? My tan, my nails, I'm turning into Paris Hilton!

It's taken me half an hour to write this, and in that time I have gotten eight more viruses. My Christ what a drag!

Later. Since I haven't uploaded yet, I would like to officially say fuck this fucking virus. I went out for two hours, when I came back I had 41 emails, 28 of which were the virus! It takes twenty minutes to download the mail! I'd turn my computer off for a few days except that then I'd be downloading them 1000 at once and I'd frankly rather die.

At this point, I'm frankly thrilled when I get regular spam.

Today's horoscope:
You see your own stubbornness reflected in someone else's behavior. Save your energy for issues that matter. You know the value of money even if you don't have much of it.

One year ago today:
The funny thing was everyone's reaction to the book. Literally every single person who asked me what I was reading, when I showed them, their eyes would light up and they would say, "O, that's a wonderful book!"

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Last Updated Wed 20 August 12:08:09 2003