Watched Martin Sheen on Inside the Actors Studio yesterday. Martin Sheen, whom I have been in love with since I was around 10, Martin Sheen who can be blamed for some twisted things in my head since he played the kidnapper in Sweet Hostage and the child molester in The Little Girl Who Lived Down the Lane and he was hot hot hot.

Martin Sheen, who now has the most enormous giant white teeth like tombstones. He looks like Tim Meadows playing Tiger Woods, huge Chicklet teeth that he never had before. It's horrifying. He looks like Grandpa with his false teeth from the Sears Roebuck catalog.

Something happened that has never happened before. Yesterday, Molly came down so that I could heat up her chili in my microwave, since the Callahan's microwave has a sticky door sometimes, and she looked at my arms and said, "Kymmie, you have the most beautiful tan! I wish I could have a tan like yours!"

Nobody has ever said anything like that to me in my entire life, particularly not an olive-skinned child who tans like nobody's business. My normal skin-tone is about like cream cheese. I have an tan to be envied! I am a clearly unemployed person!

Got home last night after the show and watched the fabulous new show on VH1, I Love the 70's. Because I do. The 70's were my childhood.

My favourite part was Erik Estrada's bit, which I had to transcribe fully:

"Erik Estrada here, sending out an APB for the foxiest ladies of 1970. Do you copy? Goldie Hawn, sock it to me, foxy lady! Elizabeth Montgomery, foxy witch lady! And Jane Fonda, the foxiest fox this side of Saigon! That's a big 10-4 on the foxiest ladies of 1970, and yes, they can call me Ponch any day."

Bo Derek's Macho Man bit, the mirror to the above, wasn't even worth transcribing. My thoughts while watching it were about like this: Linda Carter belongs in the "shouldn't have had that facelift" club with Mary Tyler Moore. I remember the theme song to the Electric Company. Robyn Bird has NOT aged well! On the distaff side, Ron Jeremy looked like shit to start with and he hasn't changed a bit. Mo Rocca is so hot I can't stand it. He even overcomes the fact that his name is Mo Rocca. Michael Ian Black, who is this guy? Who watches Ed? Clearly, I'm missing a great guy, if not a great show."

My head was spinning by the time it was over. And there are nine more episodes! Kids are watching this like I used to watch stuff about WWII. Now if anything's gonna make you feel old, it's that, baby.

Today's horoscope:
You sense a healthy shift. It's a pleasure to see your research born out on a different level. Travel beyond your usual range, whether physically or electronically, to take inventory of the full effect.

One year ago today:
Are my sinuses unaware that it is Birthday Week, for Chrissakes? Can we please all get on the same page, people?

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Last Updated Wed 20 August 22:18:09 2003