I actually napped yesterday, I was so tired. From like 4.30p to 7.30p. And the best bit was, I got paid for that whole time because I was babysitting Molly and Bonnie. I got paid to sleep! I may have just found a new profession.

I went to sleep on Monday night sometime after 2a or something and then I got up at 8a yesterday morning. Why? Goddamn doctor's appointment is why! Who makes doctor's appointments at 9a? Apparently, I do.

Of course, what really happens is that you make the appointment and it's for a month from now and you go, "Sure, 9a on a Tuesday, why not?" because it's in a month, and by then you might have magically turned into the kind of person who leaps out of bed at the crack of God. Not that this appointment might come after the worst goddamn week of your life where sleep has been a mere memory.

So I went and saw my doctor about my cholesterol, which ain't great. And it would help if I lost weight and ate better, but it would be difficult for it to be good in any circumstances because my body manufactures it all by itself. Isn't that clever of it? My mother is small and thin and eats no cholesterol and is on Lipitor or her cholesterol would be at 300.

So she put me on Zetia, because of all of the medications, it's the best one for pre-menopausal women who want to have children. It also cost $35 with my insurance, which about made me fall over. And I'm going to have to get a refill! It's nearly a dollar a pill! One thing's for sure, though, I'll never forget to take it, not at that price.

It'd better not only lower my cholesterol, it'd fucking better make me shit gold bricks for that price.

So yeah, I was watching the girls yesterday. They are in bible camp at a church a couple of blocks from the house, so I went over to pick them up at 2p, but Molly came running out and said, "I'm in the middle of rehearsing a play, can I stay another half hour?"

I agreed and went off to buy fluorescent bulbs, as the bulb in my bathroom blew out about two years ago, which meant that it was just about time to replace it. Don't even ask about the bulb in the laundry room. I said don't ask!

So I went back, and they were still rehearsing, so I sat down and watched. And, as I told Molly afterwards, "You were really good! You made the lines sound like a person sounds when they talk!" "Well, I've been in a lot of school plays." "But I think it might also be from seeing rehearsals at the house and listening to how your parents say lines." "Yes, I hear how they do it and I want to try it myself!" "The most important part is to say the lines like you're thinking of them for the first time." "Yes, that's what I try to do."

She's seven. I told this story to Fran and he said, "She's going to be an accountant or a pharmacist. This is what I cling to."

The other thing that killed me, was when she said, "I'm going to have to wear pigtails every day, because in the play I win the best pigtails contest, and I have to have pigtails for that. I think that I look better in a ponytail, but I play a farm girl in the play and most girls on farms wear pigtails." She's turning into Omar, who wears his costume every day when he's doing a play.

I'm watching The Restaurant with some interest. Am I the only one who thinks that Rocco and the Italian bitch waitress Caroline are totally sleeping together? Explain to me why she hasn't been fired yet for her appalling attitude otherwise.

The thing that drives me craziest about the show is how nobody seems to acknowledge the fact that cameras are following them around, and some things are clearly being staged for the cameras. Honestly, it's not as though the people watching at home don't realize that when people are walking around living their lives with cameras in their faces, it makes a difference.

And when Gideon was saying, "Why is he doing this to me when I slipped on his floor wearing his shoes?" why did he not also say, "And the whole thing was filmed! There is footage of the fall and my entire hospital examination! Have you noticed, they are following me around with cameras all the time? No, seriously, they totally are!"

And all that Coors! If you are trying to have a nice restaurant in New York City, please don't take a Coors sponsorship, because seriously, it's Coors. Though when that earnest guy fell on his back in the kitchen in the last episode and was surrounded by all these cans of Coors I thought, I wonder if they flung them at him right before the camera turned around in order to fulfill some sort of contract.

And Rocco was such a complete asshole about Gideon's arm. I don't think that I'd eat at that restaurant if you paid me. I wonder if it's even still open? I wonder if a single one of the staff on the show still work there? I doubt it. If they do, they must all have red Vespas.

Today's horoscope:
When you know what you're doing, risk is more about excitement than anxiety. Intrusive people might come through the door at any second. Respect conflicting opinions while their owners are within earshot.

One year ago today:
Not a single solitary thing of any kind of note happened yesterday, but I did happen to take 93 pictures of Baldrick on Sunday...

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Last Updated Wed 13 August 11:39:09 2003