So Omar emailed me the script that he wants me to help him write, Tchotchkes, and I read it immediately and emailed back notes. Pause while everyone who has ever sent me a script in the past and waited for months for me to read it falls over dead with shock.

Then we talked on the phone for 40 minutes, going over said notes and getting new ideas. This show is going to be great.

Watched NBC's Funniest Outtakes 2, which differed only from the dreadful Dick Clark/Ed McMahon blooper shows of yore in that it contained neither Dick Clark nor Ed McMahon, other than that it was just as completely unfunny.

Any blooper with a star is automatically unfunny, since it's there just because it's a star messing up her lines or giggling like an asshole, not because there is anything remotely amusing about that, the really truly funny ones are the newscaster bloopers, since they are included due to actual hilarity.

Why do I watch these shows if they are so stupid? Because there is always one thing that about kills me it's so funny, and it's worth sitting through all of these idiots laughing at nothing. Admittedly, there were some Muppet bloopers that were really funny, since the Muppets would blow their lines in character, the puppeteers were never heard from, but other than those, there was this one newscaster blooper that was brilliant.

It was a wrapup at the end of the news, you know, when they are telling you to stay tuned for Leno, and he said:

"Jay's guests tonight include David Duchovney and stuntman Benny "Boom Boom" Cosky who they say will blow himself in a PortaPotty. Blow himself up."

And the other two newscasters with him both fell apart. Well, all I can say is I'll bet the Tonight Show's ratings soared in that market that night!

I told Omar that story and he said:

"There are whole websites devoted to that sort of thing."
"I saw a picture of that once and it was absolutely revolting."
"Of course, if everyone could do that..."
"We'd never leave the house, I know."
"If God meant us to do that, he wouldn't have given us hands!"
"If God meant us to do that, he wouldn't have given us other people!"

Lenten entries missed:

Nicole went to a bad party, found out she has a twin, loved Lent, got her knee x-rayed, watched the Oscars, talked about supporting the troops with more than gestures, got braces, realized what she was lacking was a giggle, and wrote an entry that made me weep.

Today's horoscope:
Scraps and remnants are an improvement over nothing at all. It's time to follow up a heated conflict with cool relief. Now that this is almost done, things are looking better already.

One year ago today:
(when Jen whispered to me, " Do you think he's gay?" I about spat my Coke in her eye--at least I'm not the only one who does call-backs from journal entries!)

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Last Updated Thurs 8 May 13:21:09 2003