So, the giant piles of money promised me by two different horoscopes yesterday failed to materialize.

Although I did get an email from "John Kabbah of the Democratic Republic of CongoI am one of close frineds to the formar presidentof Congo Democratic LAURENT KABILA of blessed memory, may his soul rest in peace" (typos intact) offering me an unnamed percentage of US15.5 million dollars, so perhaps that's what the horoscopes were honing in on.

I had this dream last night that I met this guy named Leonard when we rubbed up against each other in a bank line and we kept trying to find a place to fuck, a swimming pool, a closet, an office, but we kept getting interrupted. What I didn't know, though, was that he was a serial killer and that once he fucked me, he was going to kill me. I woke up before we got that far, fortunately. Was my subconscious trying to tell me that celibacy is a good thing?

Also I dreamt that I got a check for over $3000, so possibly that was that money that was supposed to be coming to me, since when I finally went out last night in order to get Pepsi, nobody shied a big bag of money at my head or anything.

So yesterday Omar and I finally came off radio silence.

He came back from Lancaster and emailed me about the stuff of mine that I had left behind in March that he brought back for me, and we talked a little about getting together this week and he said that he was attempting to get his shit together and so on, and then I was wondering what now, are we in contact again and I thought, who cares? And I sent him the funny horoscope story from yesterday.

It occurs to me that just because somebody goes to ground and doesn't want to talk it doesn't mean that you have to accommodate them. If you want to ignore me, go ahead, but I'm damn well going to give you something to ignore.

I have never had any problem with using terminology generally spoken by males, like calling someone a pussy or saying "Suck my dick" and so on, but I have decided that we need a woman's version of the "jack-off" hand gesture. And this is it:

Of course, this is a moving sign, Feel free to use as you will.

Lenten entries missed:

Jessie got a printer the size of my bedroom, went to California, saw a Hobbit with a badge absolutely everywhere, taught Judaism 101 and got into Brandeis! Not at all bad for a four-year-old.

Congrats, Jessie!

Today's horoscope:
The privileges of your position remain apparent. This may be a good time to collect on stock options and other IOUs. The light in your eyes attracts someone who has always wanted to speak to you.

One year ago today:
I spent yesterday in great thrift and bustle, and can tell you that the most important thing that I learned all day was that the one sound that can shoot my cats out of a dead sleep at 100 miles an hour is the sound of whipped cream coming out of a can.

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