I was walking down the street last night, and suddenly I saw myself walking along, holding the hand of a little girl around three or four years old with dark curly hair, and I looked down at her and said, "Hey there, Ruby Two-Shoes."

That was all there was to the, well "vision" isn't quite the world, since I have little imaginings like that all the time that have no reference in reality, but this seemed a little bit different. And it was like when I was about to turn 30 and was washing dishes at the sink thinking that I didn't want to live with a roommate anymore, I wanted to live alone, and I realized that I was going to turn 30, and that meant that I could do anything that I wanted!

Well, thinking about that little girl, my little girl made me realize that I can have a baby anytime I want one! I can still have one if I don't every marry, if I miss my shot biologically I can always adopt, somehow I'll manage, and I'll have that little girl.

The funny thing is that, though Ruby is on my list of girl's names, it was always about fourth on the list. I guess it's first now, I guess Ruby Two-Shoes is very clear on what she wants to be called!

I was on the phone with Mom, as I am at least four times a week, sometimes more often, and she mentioned something about how it's much nicer talking together since she made the decision to let me live my own life.

I never knew that it had been a conscious decision on her part, but sometime after I turned thirty, she no longer spent half of every phone call with me nagging me about what I had not done, and it became nice to talk to her. I used to avoid her calls for as long as I could, now I actually want to talk to my mother, and she only really gets on my back twice a year, when I have to do my taxes and when I have to do the Xmas card, but that's so much less than it used to be.

This is something that I want to remember when I have a kid, that there comes a time when you need to stop treating them like a child and start treating them like a friend. I'm really glad my mother did that, I'm really glad that she and I are friends now.

There is no song that I hate worse now than that one that the chorus goes "Twinkle-twinkle-twinkle-twonk, twinkle-twinkle-twinkle-twee" over and over again until my brains leak out of my ears. The first time I heard it, I thought that someone had a really super-annoying ringtone on their phone, but no, it's a song. That plays on the radio station that my colleagues listen to about every fifteen seconds.

I have never actually heard any other part of the song, but no matter how low the song is, I can hear that "Twinkle-twinkle-twinkle-twonk, twinkle-twinkle-twinkle-twee" from rooms away. It's like, I'm deaf but that I can hear, and I have no sense of smell but a cantaloupe I can smell from simply miles away. The things that I hate the most conquer all distance and disability to cuddle up to me. Thanks a lot.

I've decided to banish "alot" from my written vocabulary. I always write "alot" instead of "a lot", I know it is wrong but I use it anyway, as I like how it looks. But lately, it has been looking wronger and wronger to me, not to mention the fact that it probably makes me look slightly stupid, and I have decided to switch over to the "a lot" side.

Perhaps I will also start eating vegetables and going to bed at a reasonable hour, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Today's horoscope:
Excessive demands create problems. Don't give up on your dreams, but appreciate what you do have while working to make it better.

One year ago today:
My favourite part was when Omar asked where they were going (the piece is a mother and son driving in a car), and I said, "Sweetie, look at the title, you're On the Way Home!"

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Last Updated Mon 23 September 16:58:09 2002