Okay, so that's over with. If you don't know what I'm talking about, look at yesterday's entry. Or, you know, don't. I'm sure that everyone who saw it rolled their eyes and clicked on like I do when I read whiny shit like that. Feeling lonely is what weak people do, and I despise that weakness in myself.

I actually started feeling better before I posted it, and it occurred to me that I could write something different but I decided to leave it stand. This is my journal, and though I mostly write about what I think rather than what I feel, this is a record of my life, which includes this embarrassing weakness, and someday I'll want to remember that at this time and this place I was in such despair that I wished I was in a coma.

And I can't even blame it on ovulating or anything, because that was the depression that I felt earlier in the week. I hate being this moody. I'm usually not this moody, I'm happy-go-lucky! I am cheerful! I am sarcastic! Nope, what I really am inside is a 14 year old girl ready to be in the throes of adolescent angst at the drop of a motherfucking hat.

Recently it seems that I've been on a two days on, two days off schedule. Two days as myself and two days riding on the Wild Mouse Roller Coaster of Mood Swings.

If this keeps up, I'll be safe until Thursday, and that's Thanksgiving, which means sleeping in and no work and watching TV all day, so there's nothing there to make that coaster start up again. I might be safe all the way until Monday.

Today's horoscope:
You're in charge of the cleanup because you do such a good job with it. Get out there and assert yourself with confidence. Make room for a social life instead of putting it on hold.

One year ago today:
Aren't I too young to have my body start rebelling on me like this? For Chrissakes, I'm not yet 40!

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Last Updated Sun 1 December 16:55:09 2002