So yesterday I got blamed for something that was not my fault. No, that's not correct, it was more like I was blamed for not doing something that I apparently should have been doing, but since I am doing something else all by myself, I thought that I didn't have to do the other thing. But I was wrong, and I was blamed.

Also, this other thing that I was supposed to do, I was supposed to be done with it by Monday, which means that I have to go in today, Saturday, and get it done. Unfortunately, the electricity is going off at 4p today, so if I am going to get anything done, I need to get in early. Really early. Which meant that I had to get up at 6.30a this morning.

All of this filled me with so much rage that I could barely see. So much rage that I actually ended up thinking that perhaps I was over-reacting. When was the last time I felt this angry? O yeah, I remember. Three weeks and two days ago. And since I have a slightly short cycle, that's just about on target.

Well, I guess that mystery's solved, but still, if we get a reward lunch, like we nearly always do after a big project, I'm not going, because they think I don't deserve to, so they can choke on their lunch, I'll stay in the office and sulk.

And God, I did not want to get up at 6.30a this morning.

I was supposed to have rehearsal last night, but I decided to cancel, to stay and do some of the work that I would have to do today and get a head start.

So I called the director and said that I was stuck at work and would be unable to join them at rehearsal at 8p, and he said, "What rehearsal?" Well, according to my notes, there was supposed to be a rehearsal, but apparently, Ayse called him and said that she couldn't make it, and he never told me, but just considered it to be canceled.

It's a goddamn good thing that I didn't show up at that non-existent rehearsal in the mood I was in, because I would have put somebody's head through a wall. I think that the director is kind of an idiot. No, though, he isn't, but he is way too disorganized, he doesn't have a handle on what he is doing, and when you are directing four one-acts simultaneously, you had better goddamn be organized, or the shows explode in your face like a badly made bomb.

After that, though, I decided that staying late at work and going into work at 8.30a today might be too much for my skull, which would certainly explode, so I just left at 7p and went home. It's nice to go home when it's still light out.

I was thinking about learning things. About how I'm learning to knit, and about how I could learn anything I wanted to. We grownups forget that we can learn new things any time we want, that it's kind of easy to take classes and learn things because we want to, rather than to get course credit. And I was thinking of maybe learning an instrument.

I used to play the guitar and the electric bass and the flute, but I'd like to learn something new, something that I've never touched. It would have to be something portable, not piano, for instance.

No reeds, reeds are a pain in the ass. No brass, you have all that spitting, and having to buzz your lips and so on--also, it's so loud. Maybe strings? Violin or viola, not cello or bass, way too big. But I never understood how people could play fretless instruments, it makes no sense to me. Also, nothing is worse that listening to someone learn to play the violin, the neighbours would call the cops.

So what does that leave? Kind of nothing, actually. So let me think of it a different way, what small, portable instrument do I really dig the sound of. Clarinet. I really like the sound of a clarinet. I know, it's a reed instrument, but I think that the clarinet reeds are less fiddly than the bassoons and the oboes, and I just really kind of like what a clarinet sounds like.

So maybe I'll take it up. Why not? There is a world of things that I don't know how to do, and if I learn the clarinet even a little bit, that will be one less!

Lenten entries missed:

Mimi Smartypants, Jesus, Mimi Smartypants just never stops writing. She didn't have to be on 40 Days, she writes every day when she's busy, when she's not, she writes twice a day. She saves my soul every day. Good old Mimi Smartypants.

Anyway, she did not write a haiku, though she did sleep with danger and had her fucking backpack shoved up her ass. Also, she has erotic friendships, short little flipperish arms, but alas, not the super-bendy thumbs that she so longs for.

Today's horoscope:
Don't try to tie anyone down. Give lovers and friends lots of freedom without possessiveness.

One year ago today:
I knitted him a scarf.

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Last Updated Mon 27 May 21:48:09 2002