Look, look at this! I'm writing the entry for the 3rd on, you'll never guess it, the 3rd! Jump back!

Don't get too excited, and I shouldn't get too cocky, I'll probably get behind again in a couple of days, but right now this second, I'm caught up. What a feeling.

Okay, a quick product review.

Burt's Bees Avocado Butter Hair Conditioner is about the most mis-named item ever in the history of products, and that includes that supposed cure for Anthrax, Ebola and 650 other diseases that the FTC is currently suing over.

I don't know about you, but I find that if a conditioner actually makes your hair feel rougher, drier and more straw-like, I tend to be disappointed, since that isn't exactly what I had in mind when I slopped it on my head! A conditioner is not supposed to remove the moisture from your hair, in my opinion. Of course, I could be wrong.

Wait! Hold the presses. I just looked at the tube, and it is actually called "Avocado Butter Hair Treatment", not conditioner! And although the words "Avocado" and "Butter" do tend to hint at the product being something to make your hair more moist, the word "Treatment" makes no such promises!

Remember when Karen's Pär wanted his hair to be all rough and white, like straw? Well, he should use this stuff, my hair feels like a haystack or an old broom. I am never ever going to find something to replace the Body Shop's late lamented Henna Hair Wax.

I don't want to put down Burt's Bees, though, because I also used their cleanser and mask and foot cream and hand cream and cuticle cream and face cream and body lotion and facial toner and lip balm, and they were all swell. It was just the special moisture-removing hair treatment that I objected to.

So yesterday I was thinking about going to see the Irving Penn show at the Whitney, but I looked it up online and saw that the Biennial is next week, and I've never been to one, so why not wait for that instead.

Then I thought maybe I'd see if anything interesting was at MoMA, and saw this, which even though I wouldn't know when it went up and I wouldn't know if it went up, and I wouldn't be identified in any way, it would still be so cool to be part of an exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art, that I thought I shouldn't go until I went through my photos and decided what to bring, so since the Whitney was out and MoMA was out, I decided to go shopping.

Makes sense to me!

Somehow, I have never been to Demeter, and I've been dying to go since Colleen and Elizabeth and Melissa and everyone went, but then I had the no-buying year thing, and I've had such trouble with allergies that I just never made it.

Well, yesterday when I had my bath I used the Angel Food bath salts that Sara got me for my birthday a couple of years ago, I decided that I need to go three places, to Demeter, (which is pronounced, to my surprise, "DEH-meh-ter" rather than "Duh-MEE-ter"), Myers of Keswick, and Modell's for new jeans.

Well, I got to one of them!

Demeter is just fine. It's the only non-stinky perfumery that I have ever been to. Some of these places, like Crabtree and Evelyn, which I adore, I can't stay in for longer than 20 minutes before I start to choke, but this place had very clear air.

And a very big dog! There is this enormous friendly dog who comes and greets you at the door and lets you alone if you don't care for dogs and leans against your legs in ecstasy as you scratch his head and pound him on the side if you do.

Well, I went down the row of scents and sniffed every single one. There were a few that I really liked, there were a few, especially everything that smelled a little burny, like Creme Brulee and Dulce de Leche and Crust of Bread and Tiramisu, that I didn't like at all, and anything too sugary I wasn't crazy about, because it would be like working in a sweet shop, when after awhile you just grow to loathe the smell of sugar. And Mushroom was just the worst.

I narrowed it down to just a few--I loved Damask Rose, but it's a little ordinary, and what's the point of getting a flower scent when you can get Dirt or Snow or Dust? Holy Water was another choice, and Dandelion, and Laundromat, but my final choice was Funeral Home, and no, not just because of the name, though the name is pretty fabulous. I have decided that it will my signature scent. I bought the cologne and ordered the bath gel and the lotion.

"Ooh, what is that enchanting fragrance?"
"Funeral Home. Got a problem with that?"

Myers of Keswick is all the way across town, but I decided to walk rather than get a bus, because you can't shop if you are riding past the shops. Just a little hint from me to you.

Mostly I just looked at things, but I did get some delicious smelling lemon soap at a store called Fresh on Bleecker, and some hair mud (hey, I have to try to get something to replace that Avocado Butter Hair Treatment) and a stuffed bunny at a store called Details.

Yes, I did say stuffed bunny. I never meant to, I didn't go in there saying "Where is the bunny? I must have a bunny!" but I saw her on the shelf and she forced me to buy her. She twisted my arm, with her soft soft fur and the beans at the tips of her ears that make them all floppy. This is one tough bunny.

I had some trouble finding Myers of Keswick, it gets confusing downtown, and once I hit Hudson St. I went about ten blocks back and forth in the wrong direction, and I really was terribly tired when I finally found the right block, but it wasn't there! I mean, at that point I was sure it would be closed anyway, but I couldn't find it at all, and it's not as though I could get the address wrong, "'Oodsun Straaait between Horaaaatio and Jaaaane" being burned into my memory for all eternity.

So a long walk without the destination I wanted, but it was the journey that was important, so it wasn't a disappointment.

And on the way home I found out why the bunny (Sylvie) wanted to be bought! There was an eighteen month old girl who was screaming inconsolably across from me who stopped when I started waving Sylvie at her, and she dissolved into giggles and smiles and coos. Of course, she started screaming again when we left, Sylvie and I, but it had to end sometime.

I thought after I got her that Bonnie's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and maybe...nah. This is my bunny. And I don't have nearly enough affectations yet! Carrying around a stuffed bunny, that's what I need to start doing. My life is getting too predictable, Funeral Home cologne and Sylvie the bunny, that's what I was missing.

Watched Jonny Mosley on SNL last night, who is much more verbal than any other sports star to host the show. Not to mention intensely cute. His opening monologue was a scream:

"Hi, I'm Jonny Mosley, the Olympic gold medal winner in freestyle skiing! Not at this last Olympics, at Nagano, the good Olympics. I am known for my signature move, the Dinner Roll. See that? You know what that's worth? Fourth place!"

Today's horoscope:
Your mind is sharp today, yet also precise. Plan to accomplish problem-solving that requires both speed and exactitude.

One year ago today:
I said last week that what I really wanted to accomplish with that performance was to have at least one man at one performance get a boner, but last night wouldn't get anyone hard.

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Last Updated Mon 4 March 00:29:09 2002