So yesterday The Raccoon says, "Kymm, what are you doing right now?"
"Entering this tax invoice."
"Can you come here, please?"

So I came there thinking, "What the hell did I do now?" and she said to me,"Did you talk to any of the sales reps this week?"
"Yeah, I talked to Rep X a couple of days ago."
"Is he a district manager, was he calling about his people?"
"Yeah, he was calling about himself, and Reps A, B, C and D."
"Um, what did you say to him?"
"Well, originally I said that we were going to cut his expense checks this week, but when I found out we weren't I called him back and said that I was really sorry, but that they'd go out next week, I promise."
"Is that exactly what you said?"
"More or less."
"What exactly did you say?"
"The only thing I left out just now was that we couldn't pay them because the first of the month is this week, and we have all of the rents and leases and we couldn't fit it in the budget."
"Because The Lord God of Sales Reps spoke to The Finance Wizard and said that you had said something terrible to one of the reps and that they were both very upset and he was going to talk to him about it on Monday, and The Finance Wizard wanted to be prepared, so he asked me to ask you whether you could remember saying something that would fit that description."
"What? They said what? I can't think of a thing that I said to Rep X that he would take offence at!"

So I went in to talk to The Finance Wizard.

"Hi, The Raccoon was talking to me about what The Lord God of Sales Reps said, and I swear to you, I have no idea what they are talking about! (recounts exchange with Rep X). When I told him that I thought we were paying them, it was in person, but when I said that we weren't, I left a message. And the only thing I can think of that I said that was out of the ordinary was about the rents."
"Which is perfectly reasonable and true, and nothing to get upset about."
"I mean, Rep X and I are friends, so I get kind of chatty with him, but I didn't call him a fat fuck or something, and I was really super-apologetic that they weren't getting their checks when I had thought that they would."
"Are the expense reports in question really old? And not the dates on them, I mean when you guys received them."
"No, they are about two weeks, they missed the big payout to the reps that we did a couple of weeks ago, because they hadn't arrived yet, and they really were due this week, but not overdue this week. They haven't gotten any expense checks since December, but that's not our fault."
"Look, don't worry about it, I'll talk to The Lord God of Sales Reps on Monday, and if it is the rent thing, I'll set him straight."

And that was that. Except for the fact that I think it's really shitty to say "You've done something terrible! Just terrible! I cannot even stand to look at you! And I'll tell you in three days what it is."

I don't really feel like I'm in trouble, as The Raccoon and The Financial Wizard seem to be on my side, not to mention the fact that I was telling the exact truth of what I said to Rep X, unless I talked to somebody else, and I'm forgetting something, but I think he was the only manager I had spoken to last week, so it has to be him.

And you know what's really pissing me off? He's a friend of mine! I've done him about 4,000,000 favours over the years, he's one of the four reps that I take care of because it's personal. And The Lord God of Sales Reps? Same thing! I've gotten their checks to them ahead of other people! I've snuck them in and begged for them when they weren't quite due! And now this shit?

I mean, I am the one who cares whether they get their checks as quickly as possible, and I don't mean just the above, I mean for all of the reps. I am the one that pulls them and FedExes them out the day they are cut, or the next day if I run out of time. I am the one who goes through them and makes certain that no-one was accidentally left out. I am the one who sends things for Saturday delivery when asked specially. I take care of these reps, I make a point to, and then suddenly I'm the bad guy because we didn't cut the checks last week, when that wasn't even my choice.

You know what? I am my mother's daughter. She can and has held a grudge for 50 years, and so can I. No more favours, no more special treatment, they are going to be just like any other vendor. Which means that their checks go out a week after they are cut, not pulled early because they are employees, they stay with the other 250 checks and get matched and signed and approved along with everything else. If they want special favours, they can speak to The Raccoon, and good luck to them.

Of course, this wasn't the first time I was spoken to this week.

Earlier I was told that apparently I had told a vendor that all of the people in one of our offices were idiots, and they called that office and told them I said that, and then that office told the purchasing manager that I said that, and she was all pissed and I should really try not to say stuff like that if I can at all avoid it.

Of course, it's not as though I was telling an untruth, but I don't know who I was supposed to have said it to, so I really can neither confirm nor deny, because I don't particularly remember saying it, but you know what I think? I think that I was probably joking.

Just a thought.

So this whole "You said something terrible to one of the reps" thing was the last thing I needed, especially since I'm hoping to get promoted to Supervisor. I really must learn sometime to keep my pie hole shut occasionally, and not talk to everyone like they are my best friend. I think it's one of my strengths, the way I can make friends with vendors and things, it gets them off our backs, they cut us breaks, and besides, usually I genuinely like them. But if something I say can be taken out of context and come back to bite me on the ass, I should pause before saying it.

And if I think that everyone in a particular office is an idiot, I should tell The Raccoon, because she will agree with me, not tattle on me. And what's with all this whiny tattling, anyway? "Wah wah wah, she said this! She said that! She said that you were all idiots! She said we can't have our checks! Make the bad lady stop!"

How old are they, two? Not that I'll tell them that. Because I will no longer say inappropriate things to vendors! And if we aren't paying a rep's expense check, it's because we just aren't, because it wasn't in the cards. C'est la vie! Hey, I'd cut your check if I could, but you know what? I can't! Why? Just because! Better luck next week.

Here's the funny thing, though. All the above aside (which really only came out because I am writing about it and I got on a roll), I'm not really upset! I feel betrayed, but I'm not crying about it.

I have had this feeling of anticipation all this week. Like something wonderful is about to happen, like all the good things in the world are headed right my way. I don't know why I feel this way, I felt it before all this happened, and before this, I think it started with doing my pictures for the American Photo contest, I started feeling like I could really win, and if I did, then everything would change, but that won't be for months and moths, I think they print the pictures in November, so that can't be what I'm expecting.

But anyway, this "Goody, goody, it's coming soon and I can't wait!" feeling is so strong, that all this horseshit isn't making a dent.

Today's horoscope:
You or your beloved may be rarin' to go, while the other needs a lot of cuddling and support to get into the mood. Be sensitive.

One year ago today:
That is my goal in life, to always make it different with me.

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Last Updated Sun 3 March 19:16:09 2002