2 June

O my God! O my Christ!

I just saw a commercial that went like this, "If you were born between 1917 and 1962 call 1-800-xxx-xxxx now to find out more about the Silver Care Plan. The average funeral now costs over $6000, but did you know your survivors may only be able to receive government death benefits up to $300 if they qualify? Leaving your loved ones to pay the balance."

I was born in 1964. Am I really only two years away from the silver Care Plan? Lord have mercy.

Which reminds me, suddenly everyone is doing this "40 Things to do Before 40" that Dorothy was, I think, the first to do, but now that Jenn has up and run with the concept, it has become the latest journal fad.

I, of course, am only two years two months three weeks away from being 40 (and don't think it doesn't pain me to realize that fact), so in order to do this properly, I'd really have to include things like "Have breakfast tomorrow morning" and "Cut off that hangnail on my left thumb" but what the hell, I'll give it a go.

2. Have a baby, or at least get pregnant.

3. Go to Iceland.

4. Clean up this damn apartment and stop living like an animal (actually, more unlikely to occur than the married thing).

5. Appear in a Broadway show, or at least be paid to act in something for once in my life.

6. Get down to my fighting weight, or at least close to it. If I lost at least 100 lbs, the end would be in sight.

7. Finish the Molly book.

8. Finish Phoebe the Bunny Goes to Coney Island.

9. Have a book published, either of the above or something that I haven't even thought of yet. No qualifiers here, I think that this is the one most likely to occur that I have said so far.

10. Be able to leave The Company That Must Not Be Named, because I can support myself with my art. Any of my arts will do.

11. Visit Dawn in Italy.

112. Do the wedding photos of someone that I am not already friends with.

13. Finish reading all of the books that I own and have yet to read. Some for years.

14. Go hang-gliding.

15. Get rid of my debt.

16. Own my own home, and decorate it rather than just have a bunch of furniture.

17. Visit an apartment in The Dakota. Obviously, I can never live there, but if I could go inside it just once, I would be so very happy.

18. Learn to play a musical instrument.

19. Keep on knitting, now that I have learned, and actually make things with this new skill. Not just scarves, either.

20. Learn something else crafty, like crocheting or something.

21. Learn another language. Something fun and ridiculously hard, like Gaelic or Welsh.

22. Join a choir.

23. See every single Best Picture Oscar winner. If I lived in LA, I could be doing this right now, as they are showing one a week at the Academy, but they aren't in NY because the New York branch of the Academy sucks. I've only seen 46 so far, which is shamefully low.

24. Finally take yoga from my friend Donna.

25. Be the production photographer on a film.

26. Get a dog.

27. Go to Vermont and get an angel tattoo.

28. Spend some time in New Paltz.

29. Go to Newfoundland.

30. See the Aurora Borealis.

31. Learn to bake bread.

32. Learn to eat fire.

33. Learn to blow glass.

34. Learn to make soap.

35. Register to be a bone marrow donor (if they will accept my living in England--I can't give blood because of that).

36. Go to a film festival with a film that I made or appeared in.

37. While we are at it, make another film.

38. Buy a bicycle. And ride it around, not just leave it in the backyard.

39. Do a major photo project like my idea of spending a school year at Interlochen. That one is almost impossible to do in two years, so how about get a grant to do a major photo project, having the project funded and in place by 40 rather than actually doing it would be fine.

40. See Metamorphoses at least three more times. I figure I'd might as well put something in that is certain to happen!