I forgot to tell the latest skirmish with the Weekend Stompers, aka Molly and Bonnie.

Last week, after I had to go upstairs twice and bash their brains against the wall, Fran told me that they were no longer allowed to be downstairs without him, that they had to stay upstairs and play in their room if Fran wasn't up.

I was pretty sure that that wouldn't actually work, since Fran wants to sleep late on the weekend as much as I do, so why he would be up and downstairs with them at 8a, I don't know. But I decided to believe him.

Well, Saturday, at 8,30a, there was the thumping and the skittering meaning that the dog was running around and an extremely bad little girl was chasing her!!

So I swarmed up the stairs like an avenging angel, the girls were sitting nicely on the couch (of course, God forbid I catch them in the act), Bonnie turned and took one look at my face and said, "Mowwy did it!"

ME
I do not care who did it! Where is your father?!

MOLLY
He's upstairs.

ME
Well, you are not supposed to be down here without him, what are you doing down here?

MOLLY
He said we could be here when he let the dog out.

ME
Okay, fine, you can stay, but you will sit there on that couch and you will not move until he comes down. I do not want to hear one footstep, do you understand me? (threateningly) Don't make me come up here again.

Well, that worked. I told Fran afterwards that if the couch had been peed on, not to automatically assume that it was the dog, because I put the fear of God into those children, and if they even touched a toe to the floor for the next couple of hours, I would be very surprise.

I went into work yesterday. Now, I can no longer work on the weekends without permission, but I had so much to do that I thought that I'd go in and do some of it without clocking in.

I ended up spending so much time writing two entries and checking my email and reading journals and basically making certain that the Internet did not actually disappear since it was no longer in my house that I ended up doing no work at all.

Glad I didn't punch in, I would have felt awfully guilty!

Since there in No Internet (sob sob), I've been watching TV, clearing stuff off of TiVo, and I have become absolutely obsessed with two shows, The It Factor and Human Remains.

If you don't have cable or a dish, you are shit out of luck, because The It Factor is on Bravo and Human Remains is on BBCAmerica, but they are both the most wonderful shows imaginable.

The It Factor is a reality show, which I normally hate like I do hell's pains, but this is about actors trying to make It in New York, so I decided to give it a shot, though at first I didn't know why I'd want to watch it when I could basically just watch my friends and myself and get about the same return, but I started watching it and now I'm just nuts about it.

It follows twelve young actors on auditions and to their jobs and to their agent's offices and tromping around the city getting spat on and bouncing back, and it's just really great. My favourites are Miranda and Jimmy, they both just seem like such nice people, and they really do have the fabled It, meaning that they have personality and you just want to watch them. Although actually I like them all, except for PJ and Queen Esther, both of whom are kind of pains.

Human Remains is this great fake documentary series that I am now upset that I deleted from my TiVo, because I'd really like to have them on tape for the accents, if for nothing else. Very handy.

Anyway, each episode is about a different wildly dysfunctional couple played by the same two actors, and it's just so funny, but really dark as well. I have yet to be able to stop thinking about the Welsh couple who were getting married, the boy being a rage-filled latent homosexual and the girl being completely dim and limp and pregnant. There are three more episodes next weekend, and BBCAmerica reruns everything, so I'm certain they'll be on again and I can get them on tape.

O, and what's up with this depressing mini-season of Sex and the City that just fills me with gloom? The last couple of episodes just about made me start taking Zoloft. Carrie! Adrian! Stop being so stupid!

Maybe that'll help.

Today's horoscope:
Make that minor repair or improvement you've been putting off. You'll be more effective and feel better.

One year ago today:
Hello, I am really quite astoundingly ill.

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Last Updated Wed 30 January 20:09:09 2002