25 January
So yesterday I joined Weight Watchers!
Ever since at New Years when I thought that I really need to do something about being the Incredible Inflating Woman, I have been thinking about it, and with Lucy dropping weight, and Colleen did really great on it, and Cindy isn't on WW but is losing weight like there's no tomorrow, and a guy I work with losing 40 pounds in the past few months, everyone has been inspiring me.
The other thing that inspired me was how absolutely enormous I looked in the pictures that Amanda emailed from when she and Jeff and Tracing and Sara and Renee and I got together on Saturday. At first I thought, "I don't really look like that," but then I realized that every single other person looked exactly like themselves, so that must be what I really look like, too.
Which is a beach ball. A beach ball with pink hair and cool glasses, but a beach ball nonetheless. I don't want to be a beach ball, I want to be a human girl.
So on Tuesday I thought about Weight Watchers and yesterday I looked it up online and found a place directly across town from my office (too bad we're not in the old office from four years ago, it was right up the street!) and yesterday I went, because there was a 9.30a meeting and I could go before work.
I ate alot on Wednesday, because I wanted to weigh as much as possible for my weigh-in. Silly, but knowing that three pounds or more was because I had my snout in the trough a few hours before, not because I really weigh that much, means three more pounds that will be gone when I weigh in next week, and I will be happy because I lost alot right off the bat in my first week.
Am I experienced with the public weigh-in or what?!
So yesterday I got up at 7.30a, you know, or not, because I am me, what I really did was hit snooze and hit snooze and get up at 8.20a, throw on my clothes and ran out the door by 8.45a.
The meeting was at 9.30a, but I was supposed to get there half an hour early for registration. I knew that wouldn't happen, but I didn't really care about missing the meeting, I'm not into meetings. I've done them with Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, and...something else, I can't remember, and they are so not my bag. Optifast! That's the something else.
I actually got there at 9.40a, because the crosstown traffic just bit me in the ass, and there was no-one there! You know, except for the people who actually work there. It turned out that the meeting was at 10a, but they put down 9.30a because that was the earlier time that you were supposed to come, so that was cool.
O, and the best thing was that they didn't charge me a registration fee! On the web is said no fee unless you're in Manhattan, where it's $15, but they just asked for $11.95 and I got metric buttload of materials, books and cards and things and thises and thats. And I weighed in at the heaviest weight that I have ever been in my entire life. Which is good, because if you are going to lose weight, have something to lose, baby!
The meeting was tiny, because it's a new time and no-one attends it yet, but that was fine by me, just me and the leader guy and one lady who has been doing the programme for 30 years, she lost 55 pounds and has kept it off. The leader has been doing it, too, for 32 years, which is all real inspiring and stuff.
And this points thing is totally faboo! They give you a book with all of the food in the world listed except for tortellini (but I figure that three tortellini counts the same as one ravioli), and I looked up all of my favourite things, and added everything up, and you know what? I can still eat everything! Even McDonald's breakfast, though that would leave me without alot left for the day, but I really could have it if I was craving it enough! And Pepsi! A 20 oz bottle of Pepsi is 5 points, I can still have that like once a day or something!
And that's when it hit me, like the clouds opened up and God's finger pointed down at me, I can eat everything I want, everything I like, I just can't eat it all on the same day!!
And it only took me 37 years to figure it out.
So I'm all counting points and drinking water and writing everything down and having fun. I love lists!
The one thing I need to watch are my anorexic tendencies. Have I ever talked about those? I was never really anorexic, I don't think, but I was really borderline, and I had alot of bad behaviours and I weighted under 120 pounds for awhile, which considering my height and frame, was ridiculous. I wore a size small! Small! There is no reason on God's green earth why a 5' 10 1/2" woman with shoulders like a linebacker should be able to fit into a small, but I did.
I stopped by myself, because I really hated food, and hated eating, and I missed that joy. Food is good! Eating things that taste nice should be enjoyed! But I didn't, and I felt that my life was less because of that, so I purposely started eating more, but since I had no good eating habits, I just have been steadily gaining ever since.
I've only been doing this for a day, but I know that the two things I need to watch out for are hoarding points, though you can bank some if there's something special coming up, eating less for a couple of days so that you have extra points to play with for your birthday or whatever, I found myself saying yesterday, "Okay, I have 15 points left, I shouldn't eat them! I will be strong! I will eat less than they tell me to!" which is really dumb and I quashed it and ate the amount I was supposed to.
And the other thing is that I really really really love the feeling of being really really really hungry. And a hunger headache? It's like winning a prize. Makes me feel strong. Makes me feel in control. And, because you can't keep it up forever, eventually it kicks your butt and you inhale the contents of your refrigerator.
So, I'm not doing any of that, not this time. I'm not going to binge immediately after a weigh-in, because then I have a whole week to be good in, and I'm not undereating to prove anything, I'm doing this right.
Today's
horoscope:
Careful, conscientious and thorough, today you do a really GOOD job. Discipline and concentration come easily.
One year ago today:
Also, eyes itch. Am Job.
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Last Updated Thurs 24 January 19:05:09 2002