If I stop updating altogether, it's because I murdered those kids.

They started with the noise sometime before 9a, and I kind of lay there, hoping that it would stop, and it would, enough for me to start drifting off again, but then it would start again. The problem was that I couldn't quite tell if it was the dog or the kids, and I didn't want to yell if it was just the dog and the kids were sitting all decorously in white lace dresses with pink ribbons in their hair.

Hey, it was early, I wasn't thinking straight.

I was going to go up at one point and kick some Callahan butt, but as I sat up, I saw that someone was coming up to the front steps and thought that it might be Jon Daddy, come to take them away. It was a bit early, but I know that he's taking them today and hoped that therefor the noise would stop.

The noise did not stop. There was the picking things up and dropping them again (if you're gonna do that, do it on the carpet, for God's sake, not the wood floor!), there was the dragging things around (furniture? persian rugs? dead bodies?), there was the yelling, ("Bonnie, that's mine, give it!"), and there was the grinding of teeth. Wait, that was inside my head.

It got to the point where I was completely awake and I knew I was getting up, and it was after 10a anyway, but I was so furious that I went upstairs and let them have it anyway.

"What the fuck are you children doing? "What the fuck is wrong with you? If you do not knock off this noise right now, you are getting a spanking and I am not kidding!!!"

Bonnie curled up on the sofa like a hedgehog the moment I started yelling, it was all I could do not to laugh. Actually, it wasn't that difficult, I was so pissed, but her ostrich reaction (if I can't see her, she can't see me!) to my tower of fury was very amusing.

So I went back downstairs and started watching that peculiar Opening Ceremony.

I remember when it was in Norway, or whatever, and they had those weird creatures dancing around and everybody thought that they were normal in Norway but looked odd to the rest of the world due to cultural differences. Now I know that is not true.

People of the world! That "The Fire Within" interpretive dance on ice thing looked weird to us Americans, too! Those pointy-headed things, and the big silver circles with the people inside are not part of our cultural heritage, I swear!

Actually, I thought it was rather effective, that kid was really good, even if he was playing The Child of Light. My favourite part, though, was when Costas said, "Y'know, Katie, it's never good when you are being pursued by giant icicles--they are up to no good."

Joe Sabovcik played The Fire Within, and blew his first jump. I did find it terribly amusing that after that, they cut away from him at the end of every jump, just in case he was going to awkwardly step out of it again. I expected Dick Buttons to run into the booth and start yelling, "He was leaning, did you see him lean?!"

Apparently, The Fire Within is having some trouble with his landings.

But at the end, when the Storm was vanquished and all those little Morman kids skated out onto the ice, and it was all twinkly and white and beautiful, it brought a tear to my eye. Of course, I'm on my period, so that might have been why.

I love the Parade of Nations, that's always my favourite bit. Nobody's won or lost anything yet, it's all possibilities, everyone is just so thrilled to be representing their country, it's great.

I particularly love the tiny countries with the tiny teams, like Bermuda and Cameroon and Fiji with their teams of one, and my mother's country, Belgium, with five. Go Belgium!

I had no idea that Elvis Stojko was in the Olympics! I thought he went pro, isn't he like over 30 by now? Also, I forgot he was Canadian.

I do think it's amusing the way all of the flag bearers are intensely beautiful, even, and this is the funny bit, even on the teams of one. "I am the greatest luger this country has ever seen, why can I not go to the Olympics and represent us?" "Because you are butt-ugly, and we cannot have you carrying our flag in front of everyone like that."

Apparently, the biggest German luge medal contender is nicknamed The Flying White Sausage. O, those wacky Germans, how playful and devil-may-care they are.

Well, there's the Axis of Evil and their two athletes. A bit outnumbered, I'd say.

Katie: "I like the (New Zealand) snowboarders who say they're here for the babes and the beer."
Bob: "Good mission statement!"
Katie: "So great to see all these fresh, young, happy faces, isn't it?"
Bob: "Up here in the booth or down there?"
Katie: "Down there. I said young."

At first I thought the whole Native American thing was a sop, but as it goes on, I don't think it is. I thought it was just the one representative per Nation, but as all of the groups came out it was actually very powerful, all these people in their native costumes, but they didn't look like costumes, they looked like clothes.

I know they don't dress like that all the time, they wear jeans and shirts for everyday, but the traditional costumes are what goes down to the bone. Even the little kids look like they belong to the clothes. It's like an ownership of themselves and the land. I don't think I'm expressing myself very well, but it's so joyful and real that it mixes me up inside.

The Native Americans are represented by the Native Americans, the settlers are represented by a giant moose on skates. And coyotes doing the can-can. Okay, that's not entirely fair, the giant moose is actually quite astonishing, but it was too good a joke not to say.

Bob: "Now it looks like some mountain lions are squaring off against the coyotes in some cat-like version of West Side Story."

The giant bison with all of the bison inside of it was glorious. It'a all a combination of Japanese shadow puppets and giant Chinese dragon puppets. Really truly amazing.

Katie: "Some people might recognize this music from the beef commercials, but actually it is "Rodeo" by Aaron Copeland, one of the finest composers this country has produced."

Shit! It ran over so my TiVo didn't save the whole thing and I didn't see the lighting of the torch! Well, that'll teach me not to add an extra half hour every time for the next the two weeks.

I was working last night, listening to the radio and a Lincoln LS commercial came on, which was all about how tough the car is and how it doesn't need to be pampered, and in describing how much the car could take, the announcer said:

"They drove it hard and put it away wet..."

And I said, what? Am I the only person who thinks that the ad writer reads too much Penthouse Forum? Or was it a bet? Maybe I have a really dirty mind, but that line quite startled me! So I called Cynthia and told her what the commercial said, and she about killed herself laughing, so clearly it's not just me.

It had to have been a bet. But honestly, did it occur to no-one that yes, your car is your cock, but perhaps it shouldn't be so blatant?

Today's horoscope:
Warmth, caring and love are essential today. Cherishing someone and being cherished are more important than passion.

One year ago today:
If I see this trailer one more time, I'm taking hostages. OR bombing a naval carrier, take your pick.

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Last Updated Sat 9 February 13:08:09 2002