Since it seems to be working out this way lately, the following is today's Thought for the Day, which came upon me all at once last night:

Loving is good for its own sake.

This is the problem with thoughts coming upon you all at once, trying to articulate them later is a real bitch. Okay, it's like my theory of present-giving, which is that I give presents to people that I want to give presents to, or because I thought of or found the perfect thing for this person, and it gives me joy to do so.

Giving presents is of itself enough, present giving is not to get a present in return, and if someone for whom I did not get a present gives me one, I am not embarrassed or anything, because they gave me a present because they wanted to and not in order to be reciprocated. Or at least that's how I look at it. In other words, the giving of a present is good for its own sake, and it is complete, it doesn't complete itself only when a present is given back.

And that's the thing about love. Loving someone is not incomplete because that person doesn't love you back, loving someone can only be good because it adds to the amount of love in the world. Christ, that looks sappier than I meant it to, but I really believe that. If I love you, that is a complete act on its own, it is not incomplete because you don't love me in return, the love is a gift that I am giving without expecting a gift in return, and it is enough for its own sake.

Besides thinking goofy thoughts about the nature of loving, yesterday I worked pretty hard but nothing like as late as I had planned to.

I have so much work to do, so much filing, and I was going to stay late late late, but right around 6.30p I slooooowed doooown. And then stopped. I didn't leave then, I hung around until 8p, apparently thinking that I would magically feel like working again, but I realized that that was crazy talk. I finished sending out my Christmas cards, if nothing else!

And when I got home I dyed my hair. There's the Christmas party on Sunday and I'm going home next week, so it was necessary.

I was even more slap-dash than usual, squinting without glasses at a fogged-up mirror,vaguely waving my dye brush in the direction of my head. After it was all over, I realized exactly how much I got all over my neck this time, even a big lump of it right in the front of my neck on the right side, no way to cover that with a shirt.

Honestly, next time I should just paint my entire face and neck with the dye and skip my hair altogether.

Today's horoscope:
A big issue becomes more confusing as you break it down. You're in no position to decide anything when rational discussion may not even be possible. Virgo is uncomfortable around emotionally intense people.

One year ago today:
Yep, this is me before every trip, riding that ragged edge of disaster. If there wasn't a panicky rush to finish everything just in time, it wouldn't be, well, me.

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Last Updated Sun 15 December 10:29:09 2002