I am in a FURY. I am a tower of WHITE HOT RAGE. My ANGER has the burning power of a THOUSAND SUNS. Why? Because people are REALLY ANNOYING, and everything and everyone is getting on my LAST NERVE!

Also, I am on my period, which probably has alot to do with it, though I am generally not prone to hormonal anger, I do think that in this case I see the cause and effect. But it's kind of like doing acid, you know? Because when you are on acid, everything is so weird, but it's like everything has always been that weird, you are only just noticing. Well, right now it's as though everything has always been this annoying, but blah blah blah etc.

So here is a list, a list of things that are currently PISSING ME OFF, style copped from this entry of Mo's, which I did not realize until I had already written it. And don't think that doesn't piss me off as well.

People who don't know the alphabet.

People who think that V goes between N and O.

People who file invoices under the vendors current names rather than under the names that they used to have.

People who don't file things MY WAY.

People who TOUCH THE FILES.

People who enter invoices all wrong because they are TOO STUPID to look at the invoice for longer than a quarter of a second and determine which of several identically-named vendors it belongs to.

People who sit across from me and play the "Killer Klones" soundtrack over and over again, loud enough for everyone to hear it. Do I play my music loud enough for people to hear it? No, I do not. Is my music better than anyone else's in this office? Yes it is.

Annoying, pushy vendors.

Annoying, pushy vendors who want their checks.

Annoying, pushy vendors who want their checks and who have my email address.

Annoying, pushy vendors who send couriers over to pick up their checks even though we told them that we would not be cutting them a check this week.

Annoying, pushy vendors who send lien notices even though we paid them exactly what they said we owed them THREE WEEKS AGO.

Annoying, pushy vendors who want their checks FedExed to them and they are IN NEW YORK CITY.

Annoying, pushy people who work for my company and who, even though they are not in Accounts Payable, or even Accounting, or even in the NEW YORK OFFICE, call up vendors and tell them that we have cut them a check for $18,000, without asking us if we could, and I don't even know about it until the vendor calls me up and asks me for the check number.

People who whine and complain until we cut them a check and we do and call them to say that they can come and pick it up, and then they DON'T.

People who only look as far as the end of their nose for an invoice before giving up and then I have to look and I find it in ONE SECOND.

People who are told over and over and over again not to match checks in a really annoying way that is bad and wrong on just so many levels, and they JUST KEEP DOING IT. For MONTHS. And that's not even me being overly controlling in my obsessive-compulsive way, everyone feels the same way. Everyone being The Raccoon.

Doctors who make well over $100 per hour and working 8.5 hours and then ROUNDING UP to 9. And then who complain when they don't get their checks fast enough, because they are GREEDY BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS.

People who pretend that they didn't have the checks and they don't know what I am talking about, until I hit the roof and it turns out that they were only teasing.

EVERYONE I work with or see or hear or have to look at or talk to.

Waking up this morning, getting my period, feeling fine, and then not taking my Aleve until hours later, when I was already in pain, because I am TOO STUPID to remember that if I don't take it early enough, it doesn't work.

Knowing that it is raining, having a baseball cap for the purpose of keeping my head dry, then going out to lunch and LEAVING IT on my desk.

The fact that it was SUMMER last week and now it is COLD and RAINY and HORRID.

People who EAT ALL of the ham and cheese croissants before I get a chance to get one.

People who put LITTLE GREEN THINGS in my noodles.

People who put OLIVES in my tortellini.

People who PICK OUT all of the broccoli before I have a chance to pick it out myself.

Underwear that FALLS DOWN inside my jeans, leaving my butt hanging out.

American Photo magazine, for touting all of these wonderful photographic discoveries, none of whom are me.

American Photo magazine, for having nudes on nearly every page, making it a remarkably difficult magazine to read in public.

American Photo magazine, for NOT making me a winner of their photo contest. Which is not actually done yet, but that DOESN'T MATTER, because they WON'T. Even though I am better than half of the winners that they DO pick. Because they are BLIND.

The fact that I have completely forgotten how to do platinum printing.

People who say "veggies" instead of "vegetables". They are VEGETABLES, they aren't CUTE.

Having my goddamn laptop in the shop for about the THOUSANDTH TIME, and if they say that they have no problem playing DVDs, I will go to Paramus and CRAM IT UP THEIR ASSES.

Whoever decided that Greg the Bunny should have glass eyes rather than button eyes.

The MORON that canceled The Job. Actually, it might not be canceled, but I'm bracing myself.

Vincent D'Onofrio, for not being in my bed waiting for me RIGHT NOW. Which is, when it comes right down to it, the thing that is totally pissing me off the most.

Lenten entries missed:

bgirl, whom I thought had unlinkable entries until DinoNeil explained that the time stamp is the link, talked about Coney Island, visited a dive bar, and smelled like ginger ale.

Today's horoscope:
Monetary justice is the theme today. You may ask for a raise, donate to a cause, pay off an old obligation, or focus on fairness.

One year ago today:
And then I remember "O yeah, this is Spring in New York."

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Last Updated Thurs 25 April 23:02:09 2002