So, did I clean my bedroom yesterday? Of course not, haven't you been paying attention? I mean, have we not met?! Okay, admittedly, for the most part, no, but you certainly should have know better. Instead I watched every show that I said that I was going to watch, and more.

Three episodes of The Osbournes, two episodes of The Sweet Spot, one of Andy Richter Controls the Universe and Primetime Glick, the actually terribly funny April Fool's episode of Martha Stewart Show, Steal This Movie with Big V (not entirely good, but not entirely bad, and anything about Abbie Hoffman is okay by me), and, best of all, the Behind the Music anniversary show!

O, it was so boss, I just loved it. It was better than a regular episode, because it was all the episodes--it was like mainlining Behind the Music, and then crashing and breaking up and having a comeback all in an hour and a half of salty goodness. And they included the funniest line ever in the history of Saturday Night Live, Christopher Walken's "I've got a fever, and the only cure is more cowbell!!"

And I realized that I have seen way too many episodes of the show, every damn clip looked familiar. And then The Bangles came on and performed live, and I was hoping that they wouldn't do "Walk Like an Egyptian", because on their episode they said that they hated loathed despised and abominated the song, that it was not what they sounded like, and they detested the fact that it was their biggest hit.

And then they tore into "Hazy Shade of Winter" and I remembered on the ep they had said that that song was the song that sounded most like them,tight four-part harmony, before the managers and producers had swooped in to make Suzanna Hoffs the lead singer, and I thought, "Great! The producers actually watched the episode and knew which song to have them sing!"

Yep, way way way too many episodes. As productive as cleaning my bedroom? Not so much. But more fun!

I didn't only sit unblinking in front of the box, I also went to the store! You can't beat me for exciting Saturdays.

It was so weird, though, because man, everyone was staring at me, I got so many looks and I saw people nudging each other and turning around to stare, it was completely peculiar.

I mean, I know with the hair and everything I am a sight, and I expect people to stare in the city, but it's been pink for nearly a year, and I am a well-known sight in this town, as I realized when I left my purse at the store before Christmas and called to pick it up, and they said that I would need ID and all of my ID was in the purse, and the guy on the phone said, "Never mind, we know who you are," and I never had to give my name or anything. That was when I knew that, in Weehawken, everyone knows me by sight.

So what was with all of the staring at the store and on the street? (Fran asked, "Were you shoplifting?") I can only imagine that it was a combination between the fact that it was just washed, so it was loose and curly instead of tied back, it was a nice day so people were out of their houses, and it was a Saturday afternoon at the supermarket, and I usually go at night.

Anyway, I walked tall (We always walk tall! We're Jets!). As long as nobody starts throwing shit at me, I like being the town freak.

It has occurred to me that if I have DirecTV, and I do, which can get both the east and west coast feeds of the local channels, which it can, then why can't I get them? Especially since I am having the most annoying The Job/Greg the Bunny and Alias/Law and Order With Big V problems, not to mention the Buffy/Andy Richter problem that I will be having if they ever plan on running new episodes of Buffy ever again. Now, I could just tape the other show in question on my other TV, or even, gasp, watch it while it is spilling out into my house, but what is this, the 20th century? I want the other feed!

So I rang up DirecTV and flirted with this adorable little rep for ten minutes or so to find out how much it would cost to add them to the package. I figured that it couldn't be more than five bucks a month, and I'd pay for that myself.

Said adorable little rep said that DirecTV used to give out both feeds all willy and nilly, but the networks got all annoyed and now they have to specifically ask each network for a waiver every time any individual person wants both feeds and it takes about 45 days.

"During the Olympics, people got really annoyed, because they wanted both feeds right then, and they didn't ask until after the Olympics had already started."
"I hope you told them that all they have to do is wait until the next Olympics! By the way, how much is this going to cost?"
"Well, each channel costs $1.17 for both feeds, and you are currently paying $1.08 per channel for the single feed."
"So that's 36¢ more per month?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Well, I don't think that will take too much food out of my children's mouths, let's go for it!"

So, unless one of the channel refuses to grace the Callahan satellite dish with their West coast feed, a mere 45 days from now, this house will be perfection incarnate! My bedroom will still be heaped to the ceiling with clothes, but by golly, I won't have to choose between Law and Order and Alias anymore!

In flipping around the channels last night, I saw a movie that was billed as: " The Mask--An ancient mask transforms a drab bank clerk (Jim Carrey) into a grinning Romeo with superhuman powers," but behind this see-through description on the screen were Cher and a giant-faced Eric Stoltz.

Um, wrong Mask, people! Anyone tuning to this for a laugh fest will be sorely disappoint, unless they think youth tragically cut down by disease is amusing. I wonder if anyone watched it thinking, "Where the hell is Jim Carrey? I thought Cameron Diaz was in this? I'm giving this movie just twenty more minutes..."

Lenten entries missed:

Wendy moved her journal and dumped her archive for about the 500th time, but she'll never shake me, I tell you! Never!!

Today's horoscope:
Dreams and schemes come naturally today. Great ideas flow and you can put much enthusiasm and confidence into your projects.

One year ago today:
But it was just as dramatic, and walking between the boy sopranos singing their little heads off to take communion at the altar rail was just as properly awesome as it deserved to be.

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Last Updated Sun 14 April 00:11:09 2002