I dreamt last night that I had a baby, a little girl, and she never cried, so I would keep losing her wherever I would put her down, because she never made any noise at all.

So yesterday I shot Philip's headshots, after talking about it for a couple of months, we finally got together to do them. What he needed was a headshot exactly like the headshot that he already has, but with him looking older, with his grey hair and the lines on his face, like he has now.

So I picked him up at his building and he walked up and down the street, finding good backgrounds, but since we weren't changing anything, his expression, his clothes, I couldn't shoot more than two rolls. Easiest $200 I ever made, baby.

Here's something funny, Le and Cynthia were talking about my show, Rage, Inc., and about how it's the kind of dark humour that some people find distasteful, but he said, "It's the kind of show that goes best with a younger audience, people under 35 like it best. Like Kymm, she thinks it's hilarious!"

So I told Philip that story, and how funny it was that Le thinks I'm under 35, since I have been in the company since 1988 when I was 24 years old, and I really couldn't have been much younger then, and Philip said, "You know what it's like when you know someone a long time, you forget how old they are. I thought you were 32!"

And I said, "You're right, I am 32!" I'm not just a fairy princess, you see, I'm a 32 year old fairy princess.

I had time to kill before the show, and I could have gone home, or back to work again, but then I would have had to commit suicide, working both weekend days, so instead I went to the movies.

The most convenient film, timewise, and also that I could use a pass on, was Bandits. Now, I kind of wanted to see it, because I will always love Billy Bob Thornton, no matter what a loony he has become in his private life, because he will always be the man who created Carl to me, but it got kinda so-so reviews, so I wasn't gagging for it. However, both Cynthia and my mom loved it unreservedly, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

And I love it unreservedly! It was just wonderful. The story was good, moved along nicely, and had a great ending that I did not see coming, though my mother did. I know that everyone rolls their eyes when I enthuse about another movie, but it really was fun, a nice way to spend an afternoon.

The performances were absolutely great--Bruce Willis has two modes, actually acting (12 Monkeys, The Sixth Sense) and Bruce Willis-guy, but Bruce Willis-guy can be broken down farther in Die Hard and Hudson Hawk, meaning there is good Bruce Willis-guy and coasting Bruce Willis-guy, and this was the good one. He was charming and sexy and smirking, but he also wasn't afraid to play a guy who thought he was smarter than he was without winking at the audience, saying "I really do know who Lewis and Clark were, it's my character that doesn't."

Cate Blanchett was really strong, funny and crazy and not afraid to sing badly, and I really believed that she was in love with both guys. And my Christ is she ever lovely.

There is this newcomer in the film, too, Troy Garity, whom I discover through IMDb, is Jane Fonda's son! Well, he's quite the little Fonda, because he really held his own in this group of stars without seeing like he didn't belong. And he really played stupid without winking at the audience. Or getting cartoonish, though he was right on the edge. Completely adorable, even when on fire.

But my man Billy Bob absolutely stole the fucking show. He played this motormouthed, whip-smart, paranoid hypochondriac, and he was just glorious and heartbreaking and hilarious and I just wanted to put him in my pocket and take him home.

I absolutely cannot wait for The Man Who Wasn't There now, even more than before. Another Billy Bob performance, and I only have to wait until next week! Or two and a half weeks, if I want to use a pass.

The show, our closing night, was the best ever.

The audience was incredible. When we got into the dressing room (after Geoffrey let us into the dressing room, that is), I heard them absolutely howling during Cherry Blend, which, though certainly funny, isn't exactly Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Leslie said, "I don't know if this bodes well or ill for our show," meaning if they find this more staid show so funny, our darker piece might not be up their street.

And once Leslie's scene started, I was sure that she was right, because she didn't get much. Around 2/3 of the way through, though, they started laughing, as though they had noticed it was a comedy.

Then my scene started. And they were laughing the moment I set foot onstage, before I even began to speak. I followed what I had learned the night before, to be as messy as possible with the soup, and I was just awful--when I went round to Chris' left, I saw this pile of lentils on his shoulder. And the audience never stopped laughing, never. Not for one second.

And then, at the end, after the bit where I say that I would tell everyone that he molested me, even though it wasn't true...well, it goes like this:

MARY
I just want you to remember something, Daddy. (smiling) I want you to remember that when I come in here with lentil soup, I want you to be happy. Happy! Do you understand me? (he nods) Good. Because it's important for fathers and daughters to get along.

(she spits in the soup, smiling all the while, stirs it in, then takes a spoonful...)

MARY
And now, here comes the bee! Bzzz bzzz bzzz, OPEN WIDE!

(she cocks her arm back to jam the spoon into his mouth, and...)

BLACKOUT

Well, they were screaming, baby, absolutely screaming. There was one guy in the front, audience right, yelling "O shit! O shit!! O SHIIIIIIT!!!!" It was like being a rock star, I am not exaggerating at all, just ask Tracing, she was there, she saw it all.

I walked offstage, into the dressing room, and started pumping my fists into the air like I had just gotten a touchdown. We all have moments of glory in our lives, and this was mine.

Today's horoscope:
Something pretty catches your eye. Indulge yourself if you can afford it. Brighten up your life.

One year ago today:
Cynthia Granville is, I don't know if I can put this strongly enough, a bitch.

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