Sometimes, when I write the wrong date over and over again, I always wonder if something exciting or special will happen on the day. Well, yesterday I wrote 11/17/01 on about a hundred invoices, but it's no mystery what the exiting or interesting thing is that's happening today--I'm going to see Harry Potter with Colleen and Kate (and adjacent to Tracing)!

Yesterday I was trying to remember how many people had been in AP since my tenure, and I counted sixteen.

I told The Raccoon, and she said, "Sixteen? How do you figure?" "Well, Diane, me, you, Marcia, Fatima, the black temp, the other temp, Lucinda, the boy temp, the horrible temp who trashed the database, Joe..."

And that was where we stopped, because we had to tell the two new girls all about him.

The Time of Joe was something over a year ago, and I never really talked about it here, because he was Mister Computer Guy (one of those that spends all their time on the internet because they are pathetic and have no friends, not cool people like you and me) and I didn't want him to do a search on my name and find me talking about was cross-eyed, useless, stupid, horrible, piece of poop he was, as I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, but honestly, the man almost drove The Raccoon and I to quit.

They created a new position, AP Manager, and brought in Joe to take the job, God only knows why. Of all of the bad hires in Accounting, this was the worst, and there was no-one to blame but The Evil Overlord. And she knew it, too. He wasn't there for about a minute before we realized that we were in big fucking trouble.

The man was a big loser, he was like a posterchild for loserdom, he was the kind of loser whom other people have been avoiding since he was in his cradle. This meant that he was almost impossible to ditch, he'd be all like "Whereya going? You going to lunch?" and you couldn't get rid of him, his anti-ditching mode was too strong.

He was a triple-threat, stupid, ugly and with no personality, if you are all three of those things, you are really in trouble. If you are stupid but attractive and with a great personality, you'll get by fine; if you are ugly but smart and fascinating, that's cool; if have no personality but you are beautiful and smart, you'll have no trouble, but if you are ugly, stupid and with no personality, there is no reason for anyone to spend any time with you ever.

Both The Raccoon and I were astoundingly rude to him, and it's not that usual for me to be rude, but she is much nicer than I am, so the fact that when he would go to her cubicle and she wouldn't even turn around and would only grunt at him was highly unusual!

And all this would have been possible to deal with if he wasn't completely useless at his job. He came in late, left early and took a two hour lunch every day, he alienated the vendors, never did anything ever except for stand around and get on our nerves.

We were both ready to quit. She was really totally about to quit, and if she was going, I was going, because she wasn't sticking me with him, but finally I went to the Controller and told him that I didn't want to threaten him, but that he was about to lose his entire AP department if he didn't do something about that man, and though I knew he couldn't tell me anything, if he could just assure me that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, maybe we could hang on for a little minute longer. And he said yes, that there was a light. "Is it very far away?" "No, not very."

O yeah, and he would fall asleep at his desk and was constantly sniffing--snot was all over everything. I kept saying, "He snorts heroin, I know he snorts heroin!" and when he was finally fired after not showing up for the millionth day in a row, Lucinda, the temp who was the only person that he would talk to told me that he snorted heroin! I was right! He would go home every day for lunch to get high, and that was why he was always sniffing and dozing off.

I swan, you want to keep kids off drugs, you take that absolute fat ugly balding cross-eyed loser to any high school in the nation and say "You think doing drugs is cool? Well, this man is a junkie!" The addiction rate would plummet like a stone.

When he was gone, we could barely stand to go into his office. We had one of the cleaning women to clean the hell out of the room before we'd even go into it, and even then we threw away most of his stuff. Who would want a tape dispenser knowing how much snot had probably been on it?

And the way that you can tell how we are still scarred by the whole Joe Incident? The fact that he's been gone for over a year, and we were able to talk about him with great feeling for about half an hour. Now that's good solid hatred.

I would like to add, by the way, that the reason that I keep carping on the fact that he was cross-eyed doesn't mean that I hate people who are cross-eyed, it's like when you really hate someone, everything about him becomes something to hate. When I sang in the choir in Brooklyn, there was a cross-eyed tenor that I had a huge crush on, and in that case, I found his eyes to be a big plus!

I have discovered a fantastic journal, it has a plot, a point, which I love (wedding journals, college journals pregnancy journals, I love something that shows a journey), this is a learning to cook journal, RestaurantSlave.com.

Slavegirl has decided that she wants to be a cook, and so she is working without pay at a friend's restaurant, learning in the trenches, and it is absolutely fascinating.

Today's horoscope:
You're feeling a bit sensitive today. A little extra privacy could work wonders. Protect your time alone.

One year ago today:
This man thinks that two and a half hours (if that long) and a tech is enough time for a person to prepare a ten minute monologue? Especially when the notes that he gives have little or nothing to do with the show as I see it?

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Last Updated Thurs 1 November 18:12:09 2001