I know that I should have mentioned this earlier, but though I do have a really great design from Saundra in the pipeline, I'd rather put it off for a month and use a really spring-like design.

I thought of this as I walked through the sleet this morning, that what I really want is a bit of magic, a spell to conjure up the goddamn spring before it is actually summer.

So, anyone want to design me a new graphic set? I know that I'm silly to wait until today to think of this, because nobody reads me on the weekends anymore, after I've been so dreadful on the weekends as of late. But I absolutely must do my taxes today, so therefor writing entries makes for great procrastination!

So, last night was Katie's production of The Wizard of Oz.

It started at 7p, so I had to tear out of work at 6p, but caught some really wicked traffic, and didn't even get home until ten after. Fran flung Molly at me and we tore down the street to the high school (he had to stay home with Bonnie, and Cynthia was working on a shoot that ended up not finishing until 4a), getting there closer to 7.30p than anything else, and they were only just making the "Turn off your cell-phones, they interfere with our sound system," announcement, so we didn't actually miss a minute of the extravaganza.

And extravaganza it was, to be certain. It reminded me of Rushmore, of the high school plays based on movies that Max makes? It was like that, those hugely elaborate sets, trying to make an exact replica of the movie, stuff like that. Fewer guns than Max used, though, of course.

It actually was pretty impressive, in a way--the opening sequence was in black and white, with all of the sets and costumes in black and white, including Dorothy's dress, a black and white farm backdrop, and the corner of the house on stage left. When the tornado came, they flashed strobe lights, and then revealed that the house was on casters and that somebody was inside it, because it, seemingly on its own, rolled and twisted across the stage to land stage right, and the backdrop rolled up to reveal Munchkinland in all of it's bright coloured glory!

It would have been more impressive if there wasn't a five minute pause for Dorothy to change into her blue checked dress so that she could be in colour as well. This was a problem all throughout the show, actually, which is why it was two and a half hours long, as they kept having to pause for minutes at a time between each scene in order to drag out the next set.

My personal favourite was the poppy field, which has an Emerald City backdrop and six girls dressed up as gigantic poppies, who, when the snow fell, turned around to reveal that the backs of their costumes were white. I howled with laughter, which prompted Molly to say, crossly, "Kymmie, it's not funny!!"

There was some stuff that was really clever, though, like the fact that Glinda the Good Witch was a followspot on the wall getting bigger and bigger, and coming down until it was onstage and the girl stepped out of the wings to thunderous applause every time (she must have a big family, because it couldn't have been her performance), and they used the aisles as the yellow brick road, skipping up and down them about a hundred times, clearly getting quite a workout.

Everybody wore body mikes, which explains the whole cell-phone thing at the beginning, and the first scene was all about hearing only every other word, and I thought that that would get old after awhile, but it was basically fixed after that. We did get the occasional bit of feedback, though, especially when they were hugging at the end:

"O Scarecrow, I think I'll miss you most of all, SKWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESKWEEESKWEEE!!"

And if it wasn't feedback, it was the voice getting really loud when they were hugging:

"O Auntie Em, there's no place like HOME!!"

They used a real dog for Toto at the beginning and the end, with a stuffed dog in a basket for the rest of it, thank heavens, but that did mean that we were treated to the sight of Toto struggling manfully to get away from Dorothy during a couple of verses of "Over the Rainbow", and also, when Dorothy flung herself into Auntie Em's arms at the end, the audience all jumped as one, terrified that the poor dog would be flattened like a pancake.

The acting was pretty much straight imitations of the movie across the board, apparently at the behest of the "director", which meant that the Tin Man had Jack Haley's thick Boston accent, for no good reason, "Do you think that the Wizard can give me a haaaaaht?", though I don't think it was the reason for Dorothy's occasional nasality, "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a lyyaand that I heard of, once in a lullaby," which meant that I was waiting to hear her say, "Toto, I have a feeling that we're not in Jersey anymore!"

The imitations got really old really fast, even in the case of the girl playing the Scarecrow, who did a very good exact copy of Ray Bolger, but it was just empty and dull. Except for the Cowardly Lion, who was doing an impression of Bert Lahr, but who meant every word that he said, and it was wonderful! He couldn't sing, not a note, and I mean that he was tone-deaf as tone-deaf can be, but the acting was actually brilliant, and a joy see in this small-town high school production.

In his bio he said that he had never been in any plays before, but I think that he will in the future. I think that I may have seen someone who might do something someday, because if he can shine here, he is a real diamond.

Speaking of tone-deaf, the group numbers were pretty horrifying to behold, being a cacophony of volume rather than actually hitting the notes in question. Dorothy could sing, though not as well as she clearly believed that she could, the rest of the kids ranged from okay to really not very okay at all. I think that being the musical director of this show must have been some sort of punishment. I'm certain that, whomever he was, he is now going to move into an occupation not involving music.

Katie, the reason for our being there, was a Munchkin in Munchkinland and then the Gatekeeper in the Emerald City, and was just about as good as can be expected considering that the "director"'s main direction was, "Watch the movie again!", and was wearing so much makeup that I, from my not very close seat, could easily see the astonishing thickness of blue eyeshadow and red lipstick caked onto her face. She looked as though she had wandered in from the red light district of Munchkinland. "Hey baby, want a date? One ruby slipper for a blow, two for a fuck, and you pay for the room!"

The thing that I thought was the funniest thing, though, was that clearly no-one warned them that there might be any audience reaction, clapping or laughing at all, because they never slowed down or paused for a second from their headlong charge through the script, no matter whether anyone could hear a word they said or not. So it really was like the movie, because it doesn't stop for laughs either!

All in all, it was a most entertaining evening at the theatre, or rather at the Weehawken High School, which was absolutely packed to the rafters, you could have shot a cannon through the town during the show and not hit a single person. Small town America, baby.

Alright, it's nearly 3p, those taxes aren't going to do themselves! No matter how much I would like them to.

Happy anniversary, Doug!

Today's horoscope:
Leisure themes are mixed between an inward, private focus and an emphasis on friends and groups. Blend solitary and social needs.

One year ago today:
FRAN
Her nipples are rigid with insanity.

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Last Updated Sat 31 March 14:47:09 2001