So, on Friday I sent out a message to my private list (email me if you want to join it) about my show. I had sent out info to people who live in the nabe early, but I thought that if I might have missed anybody, I'd send it to the list.

Well, I got an email from Helene that said, "Is that already? I was thinking about coming, but I thought it was farther in the future!" and I said, "Well, why don't you come anyway, you big baby!"

So she did!

Isn't that all cool and jet-set-y? Of course, it didn't happen that quickly, first she had to check with that airline to see if they would take her miles (because the $2500 that they quoted was just a trifle high for a 20 minute show), ask her husband, and beg me to stay at my house.

The thing with staying at my house is that it's not staying at my house, it's staying with Cynthia and Fran, and I really cannot send out blanket invitations, but on the other hand, if a friend with no place to stay and no time to find another place to stay is flying in from North Carolina to see my show, I say yes!

And then, later in the afternoon, call Cynthia and ask prettily.

"...so can she stay on the sofa or in Bonnie's room?"
"Look, I'm not going to be home all day, I have auditions, so you have to clean my house!"
"Aw, Helene lives in filth, honestly, she's a disgusting, foul person, I swear!"
"That is not the point."
"I know, you're just like my mom. I'll clean."
"Then okay."

So, Saturday morning I went upstairs for breakfast, and Cynthia gave Fran and I the fisheye.

"Alright, are you two really going to clean? And do what I mean by clean?"
"Yes, we will, we promise."

Of course, Fran couldn't give a shit about the state of the house, which was really fine, it was my apartment that needed cleaning, and plenty of it! But, as I said to Fran, her need to have the house clean was much stronger than his apathy.

"No it's not! My apathy is very powerful!"
"Doesn't matter, she wins. The need for a Southern woman to have the house clean for a guest that she doesn't even know and isn't her guest and who doesn't care about the state of the house is stronger than any force on the planet."

So first I went down to my house, because no matter how much I understand Cynthia, my bathroom was too disgusting for words, and needed to be sandblasted before anything else.

It's funny, I didn't actually realize that the tub was that dirty until I started cleaning it. "Heavenly day, that's what colour the tub is?" And I found that if you don't clean a sink for long enough, certain parts of the dirt become etched in.

But I washed the floor and cleaned the toilet and everything, and felt mighty proud of myself, then went upstairs to clean their bathrooms. But when I went into the downstairs bathroom...

"Fran? Did you already clean in here?"
"God, no."
"Where is the dirt? I cannot find anything to clean!"

So I wiped out the sink and hoped that that was what I was supposed to do. The upstairs bathroom had real work to do in it, and I did, and then changed the sheets in Katie's room, because that was where we had decided to put Helene, then went downstairs to finish cleaning my apartment (meaning doing the dishes and cleaning the sinkal area--there is only so much time in the day) then ran into the city to meet her and Tracing.

We had lunch and talked and had a swell time, then they both had to go, Helene to meet another friend and Tracing to go to some party, ("Why don't you come to the show tonight?" "I can't, I have plans." "You have what?" "Yes, astonishing, isn't it?") so I went to the show and got there an hour early.

And it went swell.

The only problem was that there was too much laughter--it's not a comedy, not at all, though there are some really funny lines, the audience shouldn't be in paroxysms of laughter, chortling with glee, because then the ending doesn't work.

So there I was, working hard to try and stop the laughs, putting in more foreshadowing, trying like hell to make them shut the fuck up, and John was playing to the laughs, making his performance funnier and funnier. Cynthia remarked afterwards that it was fascinating to watch me kill a laugh, tromp right down on it, and on the very next line John would Hee-Haw it back up again.

It was too much and it was wrong for the show, but it was the kind of thing where it was great despite the audience, or really, despite that guy with the big fucking "Ho ho ho!" down front that was leading the laughter, it took off like it didn't the night before, and we were both very pleased with it.

And Cynthia was there and my friend Tony from high school and Helene, and they all seemed to have really liked it. I'm glad that Helene didn't use up her miles for nothing!

Today's horoscope:
You'll feel more satisfied if you "get something done" during your leisure time. Perhaps you can create or work further on a project.

One year ago today:
I sure as hell would fuck him for a $3 an hour raise!

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Last Updated Mon 5 March 10:19:09 2001