24 January
This entry of Columbine's made me laugh, because I am famed far and wide for continually singing silly songs to my cats, and would be happy to have a silly-off with him to see who can be most ridiculous!
Of course, I usually sing the "Here We Come A-Kittying" song to them (in babytalk, might I add) when I am feeding them. I believe that I have transcribed the lyrics in the past (yep, here they are), but I didn't write the babytalk. If I am going to be the Jack of Nitwits, I can have no ego about it.
Hee we tum a-kittying
Among the kitties so dween
Hee we tum a-wand'wing
So kitty witty ween
Yuv and kitties tum to you
And a mewwy kitty, too
And Dod byess you and send you
A happy new kitty
And Dod send you a ha-ha-ppy new kitty
Of course, sometimes I say them bad kitties names instead of the actual word "kitty", but the basic lyrics are as above.
Recently, however, since seeing my beloved O Brother Where Art Thou ( see it again Beth, it holds up, I promise!), I have been singing a different tune, which is another reason that I laughed so hard at what Columbine said!
I am a cat of constant sorrow
I've been in trouble all of my days.
I am so bad I get a spanking
Just about every single day
(I spank his butt most every day)
For six long years I've been in Jersey,
Here in this basement underground
I spend each day in contemplation
Of how to best beat my brothers up
(Of how to clout them in the mouth)
It's fare you well, my own true owner
I'm going upstairs to the house
'Cause up there there are no brothers
And there's a man that I make sneeze
(Yes Fran's allergic to my fur)
Maybe your friends say I'm just a kitty,
With really lousy stinky breath
But there's one thing that is my trump card
And that's my big fat fucking mouth
(He meows so loud, he shakes the house)
That is the Milo version, I have no doubt that there will be songs for the other cats. And okay, so it's not as good as Columbine's, and I clearly didn't worry much about rhyme as I was making it up, but hey, it's written as though Milo were singing it, and I'm sure that rhyming is not his forte.
He's a cat for Chrissakes! You're lucky that he sings at all!
What songs do you sing to your cat?
And we are still talking about celibacy, our height, things that nobody else thinks is funny, worrying about looking silly, missing planes, how to look older, New Year's Eve, our New Year's Resolutions, dying our hair all kinds of colours, Disneyland, and what we got for Christmas.
Today's horoscope:
Reach out a hand in forgiveness. You have an opportunity to heal a breech, smooth over a break. Take the first step.
One year ago today:
Was Lorraine Bracco drunk or is she recovering from a stroke?
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Last Updated Wed 24 January 20:20:09 2001