God I feel sick. For some reason that I cannot figure out, I ate dinner at 1a last night. I wasn't even hungry, but I cooked and ate and woke up just wanting to die.

I must be mentally deficient in some way, like Fay in You Can Look, that's the only explanation for such behaviour.

O, how I wanted to call in sick, but after The Great Illness of 2001, I really can't take a day off just for an upset stomach when I'm not even throwing up or anything.

Tortellini and sauce at one o'clock in the morning, what the hell is wrong with me?

Double rehearsal day yesterday.

We rehearsed The Hot Dog Machine in the morning. Well, 1p, which is the morning on the weekend, and I got up and did the blocking for the first time, trying to remember where the hell I told Sabine to walk and sit and be when we did it before. It mostly came back to me, though there is some reblocking that needs doing for the new space, we'll really deal with this tonight.

The funny thing is that I was always trying to make Sabine and Rolf fight harder with each other, and it really wasn't happening all of the time, but now that I'm doing it, I'm just attacking him like a wolverine, and he is fighting back in self-defense.

I've just gotta learn my frigging lines. By tonight.

Then I went into the city, missing what I hear was a very exciting Jazz game (a close game that they ended up winning, as opposed to the game that I saw last week, which was frustrating, i.e. a close game that they ended up losing), to do You Can Look.

Bev told me that she and John are going to rehearse without me a couple of times this week, which is cool, 'cause I'm so busy, and Bev likes my performance that is already set in stone (lucky that, eh?), and John needs to catch up.

We read it twice, and the second time I realized how much I know these lines still, and Bev played Janis Joplin music in the background, and we just did the whole show staring into each other's eyes, him flicking his eyes up and down at the lines, but keeping that eye contact, and the whole thing just sparked.

And suddenly, at the second rehearsal, John was no longer a poor substitute for Kevin, nor a reasonable substitute for Kevin, but instead he was his own self, and the two of us were connecting for real, not just me giving my performance and not being influenced by his. He still needs to raise his stakes, but it was only the second rehearsal.

This is going to work. This is going to be good.

Today's horoscope:
Someone close to you is ready to take a chance, to risk for greater gain. Be supportive, but don't get swept away.

One year ago today:
...and I realized that what I really like are folk artists who are from the South!

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Last Updated Mon 19 February 10:15:09 2001