So, it's the last day of 2001, time to go over the previous year, my accomplishments and so on, but there really weren't any.

I didn't lose any weight, I didn't do anything really special like make another movie, I did a bunch of theatre, but I always do a bunch of theatre. Every day is the same as the one before it, and I never do anything to change my life. O yeah, and it was another year without a boyfriend, but that totally goes without saying.

Okay, that was one view, the other one is that I did some really good work in the theatre, I directed a play that still rocks my world when I think about it, and the last two acting gigs I did this year were real breakthroughs for me in terms of quality of performance. The fact that I didn't get paid a penny for any of the shows that I did doesn't change the fact that the work is worthy on its own.

I went to Glasgow and London and Philadelphia twice and Toronto and Chicago, I have friends that brighten my life more than they know, I have a job that despite appearances I rather like, I have the Callahans, I have one less cat than I used to, but the other three are going strong, I have joy, I have fun, I have seasons in the sun.

I may not have lost weight, I may be growing older by the minute and losing my looks without getting around to gaining them first (a definite oversight on my part), I may never do anything that isn't sedentary, like watching movies and TV and playing the Sims, but I am absolutely confident and solid in my skin, and someday someone will recognize that in me and overlook the fact that I am not beautiful. And if they do not, I think it is possible to live a life without love--not preferable, but possible.

My Top 10 Movies of 2001

Moulin Rouge
Memento
Mulholland Drive
Bridget Jones' Diary
Ghost World
Hannibal
A Beautiful Mind
The Audition
Session 9
Ocean's 11

The following are last year's resolutions, with this year's commentary:

Resolutions

Lose weight. I had a picture in my head the other day, and I knew that it was in May, and I had dropped a bunch of weight. I have decided that I had had a glimpse of the future, just a peek, and that if I wanted it to come true, I would have to make it come true.

Nope, didn't happen. My scale broke and I don't remember what I weighed at the beginning of the year, but I know that I have gained this year, though I know not how much. I am heading steadily towards a number that I never want to see, so if I don't I need to buckle down. I was doing well until the WTC, and then I decided that the last thing that I wanted to think about was dieting, and I was right, but now it's been three and a half months and it's time to start concentrating again.

Keep the goddamn house clean. If I clean one room a week, I'll clean the whole apartment every month. I don't actually believe that I'll ever do this, but I like to think that someday I will.

Ha! I slay me. Clearly, I enjoy living in squalor, or I would have done something about it, and maybe someday I will hit rock bottom and decide that enough is quite enough.

Go to church every week. I like going to church, I just am not in the habit of doing it when I am in NY like I do when I am in LA. I'm going to find a church or several churches, like the one downtown and the one near work and the one that is more Catholic than Catholic and find out the schedules and just go.

Didn't do that, and it's true, I really like going to church, but still I rarely do. When I went to confession before Christmas, that was one of the things that I confessed, and the priest said, simply, "Mass is a gift," and he is right. It's not something you have to grudgingly drag yourself to, it doesn't interrupt a weekend, it isn't an annoying obligation, it's a gift from God.

Make at least one more movie.

Nope, that didn't happen, but I have several marinating in my head and have no doubt that I'll do something this year.

Not buy anything the whole year. I really believe that I can do this for real. Of course, we'll have to see, but I have faith in myself that I can keep my wallet in my pants.

Of course, we all know how that went, I kept making excuses and reasons why I could buy things, so it was kind of a bust, but I really did buy about 1/3 of what I would have if it wasn't for this vow, so I'm still pretty proud of myself. I'm going to try it again, but not next year, maybe in '03.

Finish the Molly book and send it out. Note that getting it published is not the goal, but giving it a chance to get published, whereas if I keep it only in my head it's pretty unlikely that it will be.

I really didn't touch the Molly book this year, and I really want to, so I absolutely vow that even if I weight 500 pounds at the end of the year and can no longer leave the house because I cannot fit through the door, I will do that Molly book. And thus I swear.

Have someone fall in love with me. Of course, this isn't something that I can really control, but I resolve it anyway.

Yeah yeah, see above. On the other hand, see my horoscope below. Pretty apt!

Today's horoscope:
You're inclined to be too hard on yourself today. Nobody's perfect. Give yourself a break.

One year ago today:
This auteur thing is awfully seductive.

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Last Updated Mon 31 December 15:44:09 2001