I am absolutely starving to death. I am sitting at work on a Sunday afternoon, I have to leave in an hour or so to go and do the box office for the Samuel French Festival (bleh), I still have to write yesterday's entry, let alone find time to write about the Glenn Tilbrook shows from Wednesday and Thursday and it's all a pain in the neck.

"Life in a Northern Town" just came on my launchcast station. That's a good thing at least.

Why am I starving to death? Well, guess. Because I have decided to try to drop a few pounds again for the zillionth time, using the method that worked once many years ago and never again since, but I have a child-like faith in it nonetheless.

What makes this time different from all other times? Well, I'm not waiting until Monday, as I normally would, eating my weight in sausage biscuits from now until then, and if I blew it on Tuesday or Wednesday or something, just forgetting about it until the following Monday, like Monday is this magical day when God blesses your diet, and nothing can possibly come good of a diet starting on a Thursday.

Another different thing is that I thought about it Friday and I'm starting it today, not only not waiting until Monday, but not waiting until after my birthday week, either. Because if I eat what I like then, it doesn't mean that I cannot go back to this afterwards, it's not as though all the good food on earth will disappear forever if I don't eat it right now.

The other thing that's different, which is actually the thing that is the most different, is that my scale is busted (and not because it couldn't take the weight, thank you very much, the batteries ran out) and I actually don't know what I weigh now, and I won't know how much I lost, I'll just know what I look like and feel like and how my clothes fit and things, not numbers.

Obviously, this isn't because I'm all mature and have decided that numbers mean nothing, but rather due to circumstances beyond my control, but what the hell, I'll take the maturity credit anyway.

And what is the diet-like thing that worked once and never again? Well, it's having a huge breakfast of hugeness and a small dinner of smallness and then nothing else. I lost 50 pounds eating this way in college without noticing or trying, if just sort of turned out that way.

I would have this massive breakfast that would choke a horse, bagel and cream cheese and eggs and bacon and pancakes and things and thises and thats, then I'd have dinner at 5p because that was when all of my friends ate, but I wasn't hungry then, so I would have a small helping of whatever starch they had going, rice or potatoes or noodle or whatever, and then around 10p I would be rolling on my bed with hunger, but dinner was long over and I had no money or food, so I'd just have to wait for breakfast the next day.

And one day I was shaving my legs in the bath and realized how much less leg there was to shave, and that was when I realized that I had lost some weight, and when I got on the scale I realized how much.

Ever since then, though, we have had the problem of having my own kitchen and money to buy food and things, and it really is much easier having your mealtimes dictated by both a cafeteria and your friends--when willpower is part of the equation, it doesn't work nearly as well.

But I'm giving it another shot anyway. Because the only other thing that ever worked was stopping eating altogether, and becoming anorexic again at this age would just be embarrassing--like being picked up shoplifting after 35. There are certain things that you really cannot get away with doing after a certain age.

One thing I am doing differently, though, is that I have some between meals snacks for when I am hungry so that I don't go off and buy a candy bar or Doritos from the snack machine. So, I am eating baby carrots. If there is anything on earth less satisfying than a baby carrot, I'd like to know what it is.

But whenever a journaller goes on a diet, it's to the baby carrots they fly, and I am hardly one not to jump on a trend, am I?

Horoscope d'aujourd'hui:
Be satisfied with the compromises you have made between love and work. If the balance shifts now and then, you're on the right track.

il y a un an aujourd'hui:
I'll write a mother long entry tomorrow, I promise.

* Hier / Incrément / Ce Mois / Demain *

La poste

Graphiques de Saundra la multilingue!
Traduction français par ma mère Gladys Holland.

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Dernier mis à jour Lundi 13 Août 10:08:09 2001