So yesterday I woke up and my back really hurt, but I really had to pee, so I thought it was that, you know? But then I didn't have to pee anymore (I draw a veil over that particular moment, I must keep some mystery!) and it still really hurt.

As I limped back to bed, and then attempted to find a position to lie in (in which to lie?) where I didn't want to burst into tears, it occurred to me that I may have thrown my back out.

How, I have no idea, since I did nothing more strenuous than watch The Wizard of Oz the night before, but it seems that was enough for me to have my first back spasms in something like nine or ten years.

For me, the 80's were all about my back, I was constantly having problems with it. I remember a three week period where I could not walk. I lived alone at the time, and have no memory of how I managed, as I could barely drag myself to the bathroom. I guess I fed the cats somehow. Fortunately, I was unemployed.

I remember saying that if it lasted one more week, I'd go to a doctor, but then it cleared up by itself.

I don't know if that was the last one or not, but I do know that once I started sleeping on a futon rather than a mattress, my back problems were pretty much over. I still sleep on a futon, and yet they seemed to have returned.

Hopefully not for long. It got better during the day, as I sat in my chair with the good back support not doing my taxes, and since there is a chance I will be the only person in the office on Monday, it had better keep getting better.

Conversations while watching the rerun of the Worlds on ESPN:

ME
(watching the Chinese pair skate)
Wow, he's flinging her like twenty feet in the air! How does he do that?

FRAN
Well, they are sneaky and inscrutable.

ME
Yeah, she is actually on a wire.

FRAN
Man, she could pick a dime off the ice with her ass.

PETER CARRUTHERS
(announcing on TV, not in my living room)
They skate without fear!

ME
Peter Carruthers is getting rather purple, isn't he? Maybe he's seen too many movie trailers.

FRAN
I drink this beer without fear.

ME
This music is so strange. If I didn't know that it was written by a Chinese composer, I would have thought that it was some sort of Disney piece trying to sound Chinese, mostly classical, then a hint of Chinese-like sound at the end of a phrase.

CYNTHIA
Yes, "Stravinsky's Chinese Symphony".

PEGGY FLEMING
(again, on TV, not in New Jersey)
Irina Slutskaya said, "I think that the judges have difficulty judging me, because I skate so differently than Michelle. Michelle skates with elegance, I am more bouncy and enthusiastic."

FRAN
And she skates with fear.

PETER CARRUTHERS
I made a mistake, that last jump was actually a triple loop, not a triple lutz.

CYNTHIA
Like Peggy said! That's what he gets for contradicting Peggy.

FRAN
Because he is announcing with fear.

CYNTHIA
That is one of the most terrible costumes I have ever seen. What are those strange pink things at the ends of her arms?

ME
Those are her hands.

CYNTHIA
No, not those, those! It looks like she was leaning her arms on the stove.

FRAN
She looks like one of the evil mutants that fight on Magneto's side. Salchow or something.

CYNTHIA
Fall on your ass! We want Sarah to win the bronze!

FRAN
Ah, I was wondering what ever happened to Butrivskaya. I so missed the expression on her face like she is smelling something bad.

PEGGY FLEMING
She designs her own costumes, which she does very well.

CYNTHIA
Yes, it's a lovely slip.

FRAN
Yeah, she can figure out where to put the rhinestones on her underwear. Me, I never know where to put the rhinestones on my underwear.

PEGGY FLEMING
Remember, she's 28 years old!

ME
And still is doddering out onto the ice.

FRAN
Just another Alzheimer's candidate like Malone and Stockton, eating applesauce and wearing Depends.
(watching a commercial)
He rides his motorcycle without fear. I am going to run that line into the ground. If I haven't already.

ME
O, I think that the clock is ticking.

Happy new birthday, Jessie!

Good thing I can read my own journal, because I certainly don't know from reading hers whether she's celebrating it again this year! Well, if you are, Jess, happy 2nd birthday! Maybe you will learn to make on the potty this year.

Today's horoscope:
Leisure themes are mixed between an inward, private focus and an emphasis on friends and groups. Blend solitary and social needs.

One year ago today:
So I wanted to let you know that it was my typo, not Fran's bizarre chip fantasy!

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Last Updated Sun 1 April 11:15:09 2001