Well, that was a somewhat laborious Labor Day.

It wasn't meant to be, but the weather was so freaky-deaky that it made it so. It was hot, hot I say, hot, steamy and muggy and humid and sunny, interspersed with giant downpours, real cloudbursts where it would rain like hell for ten minutes and then be completely gone.

Cynthia kindly drove me to the Gateway to pick up my DVD card, because Gateway had told me that they would be open on Labor Day. And they were open! But Sales only, not Repairs. And they were packed, too, because everybody in New Jersey had suddenly decided that what they needed to do right that very little minute was get a computer.

We waited forever to see a salesclerk, and when we did I told them that Repairs had lied to me and said that I could pick up my DVD card that day, so he went in the back and got it.

Sorry to have made you look bad, Repairs, but you are a bunch of idiots, so nobody probably noticed!

Then we decided, because we were out that way, to go to the mall. Unfortunately, so did everyone else in the known universe.

As we joined the fruitlessly circling cars in the parking lot, I remember having seen that morning a thing on the news about how the weather was so crappy that no-one was going to the beach, they were going shopping instead! The news neglected to point out, however, that they were all going shopping at the mall in Paramus, New Jersey.

I believe that it took half an hour to park, circling like sharks looking for a distressed swimmer. It was literally worse than at Christmas-time.

Finally we found a guy pulling out and sat there, growling and snarling whenever any other cars started sniffing around, "My space! Mine! Back off, buddy!" and went inside.

Strangely enough, it was crowded inside as well! Every car in that godforsaken parking lot must have been packed like a clown car, because you practically had to walk on people's heads like Crocodile Dundee to get anywhere.

The ATMS didn't work, of course.

We got Cinnebons and wandered around for a couple of hours. At the Disney store, I got this great Tigger nightshirt. It had long sleeves, so I wouldn't be able to wear it for awhile, but I wanted it anyway. It will be cool in a month or so.

Then we realized that if we were going to make the movies that we were planning on (Cynthia and Fran, Space Cowboys and me, Bring it On) at the Regal before the prices changed, we would have to motor, so we did.

Then we hit the traffic. And it was massive. We turned on the traffic report, but it only talked about streets and highways and bridges in which we had no interest.

Finally, we saw the problem--there was just the most enormous flood to drive through. And that was the first of about six, one of which was big enough to wash the car away, if it had had a mind to. Fortunately, it didn't feel like it.

So, we missed the movies, they went to a different one and I went home, where I meant to write my entries or work on the stuff that I need to for my film, but instead I fooled around with Wallpaper King for hours and hours.

I swear, put anything shiny in front of me and I'm lost.

And as I was sitting at my computer, suddenly, the wind started whistling in my apartment, and it was freezing cold! Cold enough to wear my new Tigger nightshirt. Boy, did I feel guilty about that!

What's your worst driving story?

And we're still talking about bad hair days, our sense of direction (or lack thereof), vocal tics, looking on disasters as blessings, To Do lists, feeling a great sense of accomplishment, bad movies we love, too much vacation, strange little rituals, making ourselves look younger or older, hypochondriacs, favourite musicals, and the worst remake ever.

Today's horoscope:
Have you hugged your kids today? Demonstrating your affection physically is a good idea. Get a little TLC yourself too.

One year ago today:
"What's Harvey Fierstein doing here? He's gay and Jewish!"

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Last Updated Thurs 7 September 10:30:09 2000