6 October
My Lord, what a morning.
It all came out in the wash, as proven by the fact that I am writing this from the plane to Chicago, but I swear, I have never cursed out so many people in my life as I did this morning. I even used the new curse that I learned only yesterday, sewer cunt. Knowledge is always useful.
Yesterday, I had planned on getting home from work early and doing the laundry and washing my hair and writing my entry and packing and doing every little thing that needed doing, and then getting up around 7.30a and leaving the house at 8.30a to catch the 9a bus to LaGuardia, getting to the airport at 10a, an hour early for my 11a flight.
Ha ha ho.
First of all, because I wanted to clear my desk, I ended up working until 9p, so I didn't get home until 10p, and I just sat my behind down and wasted time for a couple of hours. I did manage to shower and to do two loads of laundry, even drying one of them and everything, but otherwise, bugger-all.
So I went to bed at 1a and decided to get up at 6.30a so that I could pack and go to the supermarket and buy catfood before leaving the house at 8.30a to catch the 9a bus to LaGuardia, getting to the airport at 10a, an hour early for my 11a flight.
Uh-huh.
After hitting snooze three times, I got up around a quarter of, put my other load into the dryer, checked my email, went to the store and got catfood and breakfast, ate breakfast, fed the cats, thought I was in really good shape, time-wise, which was a massive error, because I immediately slowed down.
I don't know what it is about me and time, I have caught myself on numerous occasions, about to be early for something, so I sit down and do something, play Snood, write email, something like that, until I am safely late.
I didn't do anything like that this morning, but there was just this sort of general slowness. Which might have had something to do with my getting up so early and getting so little sleep, I might have had something to do with the fact that I am an asshole.
Anyway, I started packing remarkably late, but I was still under the impression that I really could still leave the house at 8.30a to catch the 9a bus to LaGuardia, getting to the airport at 10a, an hour early for my 11a flight. Or at the very least, 8.45a.
Until I couldn't find the goddamn movie. I ripped my place apart, and my God, I had it only the other day when I was in Philly, but it was nowhere to be found. Time was passing at a furious rate, but I couldn't give up and leave, I kept thinking that I would find it any goddamn minute.
And then I remembered, Molly had wanted to see it, so it was upstairs in the house. I went up, and couldn't fucking find it to save my life. I looked at every single video, but to no avail, so I went upstairs to see if it was in the bedroom VCR, waking Cynthia and Fran in the process. She came down with me and found it behind the TV, and I tore out of the house like a crazy person.
It was 9.05a. So I thought that I could probably catch the 9.30a bus to LaGuardia, getting to the airport at 10.15a or so, 45 minutes early for my 11a flight.
A van came immediately, and there was room on it, so I thought that I was in luck, that all would be well. Until we hit the traffic. Which was ridiculous for a Friday morning, don't people take Fridays off anymore? It's a holiday weekend, for fuck's sake! But no, all these people in all these cars and busses just driving madly into the city, like they were giving away gold in midtown.
I made it to the Port Authority at 9.35a, ran to the airport bus window and said "When's the next bus to LaGuardia?"
"I dunno, I don't work for them."
"Un, how much?"
"I don't work for them, go out there!"
(under my breath) "Thanks alot, bitch."
Hey, look, for absolutely centuries the airport busses went to Newark, Kennedy, and LaGuardia, the fact that they now only go to Newark and some other company runs the New York busses shouldn't be a surprise only to me!
Anyway, I went "out there" and there was an affable-looking man sitting at sort of a podium thing, and I said to him "When's the next bus to LaGuardia?"
"You just missed one."
"SHIT!"
(he starts giggling)
"I was certainly hoping to have the opportunity to miss my plane. When's the next bus?"
(he's giggling like a loon)
"Thank you, that's extremely helpful, now when's the next bus?"
(he's practically wiping away the tears of laughter)
"Fine, fuck you!"
I stormed out, but I'm pretty sure that this maroon, who seemed to think that he was in the audience at Chuckles Laff House or something, ended up falling on the floor, howling with mirth. I hope he choked on his tongue.
So I run out into the street, go to the bank to get some cash, and, still wishing death upon the stupid woman and the stupid man under my breath, started looking for a cab.
Of course, as I was crossing the street to the bank, four empty cabs went by, after that, not a sausage. For half an hour I stood there, occasionally seeing a cab a block or farther away, loudly cursing the people who would get into the cabs before they got anywhere near me.
Finally, at 10.05a, a cab picked me up. I was fully prepared, if he refused to take me to LaGuardia, to rip out his still beating heart and feed it to him, but that turned out to be unnecessary. Fortunately.
I was incredibly tense, though, as we crossed town slower than I could have gone on foot, but once we got through the Queens Midtown Tunnel I unfolded enough to ask how much longer it would be, since it was 10.15 at the moment. I just pictured myself chasing the plane down the runway and duct-taping myself to the wing.
"Five minutes!"
"Really?"
"Sure, sit back and enjoy the ride!"
So I did for like a minute, but then I tensed up again when I thought that there might be traffic, but all was well, at last, and we got there at 10.25a, I checked in, got my ass on the plane, and I'm on my way!
The flight has been fine thus far, I've been listening to the showtune channel on the inflight entertainment, including, amusingly, "Do You Love Me?" from Fiddler that Robert and I sand for a Broadway night my senior year.
Considering what I went through thus far, the rest of the weekend should be just great!
Today's horoscope:
Playfulness is in order today, so don't get too serious. Be willing to laugh and be frivolous and you'll have a marvelous time.
One year ago today:
Did anyone else notice how Buffy and Willow essentially traded hairstyles as well as personalities?
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Last Updated Fri 6 October 10:21:09 2000