28 May
Well, since I saw Mission Impossible 2 last night and Small Time Crooks tonight, so hold your horses boys and girls, it's time for Rate-a-Trailer™!
1. Michael Jordan to the Max
All of the reviews said that this is basically a commercial for Michael Jordan, the Product, and that's what it sure looked like to me. No matter how much I now suddenly and magically love basketball, I couldn't be less interested. Trite and purposeless.
2. Coyote Ugly
The story of wacky chick bartenders and the patrons that hit on them. As a former bartender, I can say that I rarely flung bottles around and did dance routines on the bar, but then again, I bartended in real life and not in a stupid movie. A must-miss!
3. The Patriot
Mel Gibson wins the war and is solely responsible for the freedoms that we enjoy this very day! Ah, I kid because I love, I'm a sucker for Mel Gibson Saves the Day movies, and I never saw Braveheart, so this movie is all new to me! It's nice to see an aging star aware enough of that fact to appear as the father of a 20 year old man on screen. I'm there.
4. The Perfect Storm
George Clooney all grizzled and bearded and fine and manly and strong and tragic and smelling of fish, Diane Lane, the girl that I most wanted to be as a child, and an adaptation of a book that I loved with all my heart that doesn't betray the book? I'm there, on opening day I'm there.
5. The Ladies Man
A Saturday Night Live film, need I say more? Well, probably, as I was the only person who really dug the Coneheads movie, but this one looks more along the lines of A Night at the Roxbury or Superstar. Not even on a bet.
6. Shaft
The black private dick who's a blah blah blah. One of those trailers that is full of tricks and cuts and thises and thats, so much so that it looks as though it's trying to hide something. Like the fact that John Singleton can't direct. Another stinkeroo.
7. Cirque du Soleil Journey of Man
Amanda and Michael both saw them live recently and wrote the linked enthralled passages, but I always thought that they were a little precious myself. Especially since I have twice seen the glorious punk rock circus, Cirque de Archaos. I'd give alot to see them again--Mad Max Goes to the Circus, they were. Anyway, the twee, overly-made-up pixies in yellow body stockings bungee-jumping through the forest ain't my scene.
8. Bounce
Standard romantic comedy with Ben Affleck and Gwenyth Paltrow. Could be meat, could be cake, you can't tell a thing from the trailer, except that they will probably end up together. 'Cause it's a romantic comedy!
9. Charlie's Angels
Immensely stupid trailer involving lots of hair-swinging and lame-ass martial arts moves (Cynthia, the martial artist that I was sitting next to, said "They're doing the kind of moves that disguises the fact that they can't actually fight."), though Bill Murray looks a hoot. Not worth paying $9.50 to see, though. Maybe worth catching on HBO sometime next year.
10. Thirteen Days
Boy, Kevin Costner sure got old all of a sudden! Must have been all of those For Love of the Game reviews. I guess he's going back to when he had a career ("Remember JFK? You liked that, didn't you? Hey, JFK's a character in this one, love me again!") for this Cuban Missile Crisis extravaganza. Could be good. I'd like to see ol' Kevin do well again.
11. Chicken Run
A full-length by the makers of Wallace and Grommit, not all Americanized into hell, still with those wonderful Northern accents, looks like a real winner.
Going to bed. Remember, peeps, non-American peeps, tomorrow's our bank holiday, weekend schedule update. Meaning the dead of night, most likely.
Today's horoscope:
Playtime should be exciting today--living on the edge. Do something that makes you feel vital, alive, dynamic and involved.
One year ago today:
I want my long weekend now, dammit!
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Last Updated Sun 29 May 01:17:09 2000