16 May
So, yesterday I decided to go see Gladiator again, because I just couldn't let another day go by without seeing Russell Crowe again, all salty goodness in his little blue frock.
And I have decided that not only is this film great because of Russell Crowe cleaving men in twain in a little leather skirt, but, in fact, all films could only be improved with the addition of Russell Crowe cleaving men in twain in a little leather skirt. Musicals, romantic comedies, cartoons, Merchant/Ivory films, everything. I think it should be the rule, just one little scene per film, muscles bulging, sword-wielding, sweaty-bearded, covered in blood, leather miniskirt, that's all I ask.
I think that I'm being pretty reasonable.
Time for Rate-A-Trailer!
And since the trailers that I saw in yesterday's screening of Gladiator were the same as the ones from the week before (I got in late, maybe I missed something new), it will be a normal-lengthed one, not a marathon.
And hey, judging from the reviews that I read for Battlefield Earth, I sure picked that one right, ain't? Of course, that was like predicting that the sun will rise of a morning, but still, I believe that I predicted not just plain bad, but appalling and career-destroying, so props to me.
1. Road Trip
There's something funny, I really love Tom Green, though I have never watched his show and I don't like anything that I have every seen him in except for those pop commercials from last year. I think that there is something intrinsically funny and likeable about him, as opposed to the version of himself that he tends to play for the camera. Am I making sense? All I know is the only time I laughed watching this trailer is at the outtake at the very end. Likely outcome: A hit for the Something About Mary crowd, but you couldn't pay me to see it.
2. What Lies Beneath
Why do they do this? Why do they give away everything in the trailer? I mean, the fact that it's a ghost story with Michelle Pfeifer and Harrison Ford as husband and wife is enough, I'm sold, I'll go see it, why the hell are three plot twists given away in the trailer?! And, unlike Frequency, I am not left with the notion that there is more in the bag of tricks. That sucker is empty. Likely outcome: If they trust the audience so little that they feel they have to give the game away in the trailer, why do I feel as though the movie might be pandering as well? Give me a reason to see it and I will, but I'm not holding out hope that there will be one.
3. Hannibal
An early teaser trailer, who knows what the movie will be like, I haven't read the book yet, but this is teasing at it's finest. A black screen, sentences popping up:
"Do not approach the glass
Do not pass him anything
Do not accept anything from him
Do not tell him anything personal
Do not let him inside your head
Never forget who he is"
And then Tony Hopkins in the cell, and the audience just cheered. This is a situation where it doesn't matter a damn what the film is like, not yet, but the excitement is building.
4. Nutty Professor II-The Klumps
I really liked the first film, not because of the Klumps, but because Eddie Murphy made Sherman into a fully-realized character, not just funny because he's fat. I remember when he asks the girl on a date, and he says it with his head down, and with absolute certainty in his voice that she will say no, and the look of overwhelming joy when she says yes, like it's Christmas morning, I just burst into tears. I have a feeling that there won't be anything like this in the sequel. It looks awfully vulgar, and yet as though it were made for kids. Likely outcome: Will probably be popular, but I ain't seeing it.
5. Big Momma's House
A cross between The Nutty Professor and Mrs. Doubtfire. Likely outcome: Alls I know is that even with a gun to my head, I would choose death ten times out of ten than to even see this trailer again. I can't wait until it bombs and is out of my life.
Check out the Journal of the Week, and don't forget my contest, I'm late for work again!
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Last Updated Tues 17 May 10:21:09 2000