25 March
So I got up this morning and I put on some clothes to go and get breakfast and I left the house and I realized that it was, in fact, spring at last.
It's not the most beautiful day imaginable, but it's the feeling in the air--warm and soft and liquid air and everything's growing, and when I came home the first thing I did was open every window in the house.
Ahhhhhhhh.
That's one of the drawbacks about this apartment--it's really cold in the winter and you have no choice but to keep the windows closed, and I'm a fresh-air fiend, so that's a bit of a heartbreak for me, but you know how it is, after a bit you stop noticing the stuffiness and the stale air, and a couple of times during the winter it's a warm enough day that you can air out the place before having to slam them shut and turn on the heater and put on another sweatshirt, but mostly it's as though the windows have always been closed.
But then a day like this comes and I remember what it's like to have the air and the fresh and the scent of the day constantly blowing in and I remember that it's not just plants that grow in the spring, that my heart does, too.
Heavens, that sounds lame, but I think I can get away with blaming the above sentence on spring fever.
I'm damn well getting some new screen this year, too, so that I don't have to spend another season in The Land of the Flies, and if that fucking cat claws another bunch of holes in them, I'm amputating his feet.
So the show opened last night.
I told Fran afterwards that I don't think that I have ever been less enthusiastic about a show in my life. I've been ambling through it to such an extent that I was actually making a major costume piece at 5p at my office on a day with an 8p opening! Meaning that I never rehearsed with it. I mean, I'm always pretty casual, but never this bad.
And it's not as though the show is bad or that I'm bad in it or anything, I just don't care. I'm fine, I did a good job, but I barely know my lines because I carry them with me onstage, at one point an actor stepped in front of me and I couldn't clear, and I just decided that it didn't matter!
It's just this damp squib of a show, it's kinda there and it's kinda fine, but who cares? Not me, that's for sure!
Afterwards, Fran and I were walking to the van and I stopped to get a sody. The clerk was giving me the fisheye when I was getting my Pepsis, and I couldn't figure out what he was smirking about until I realized that I hadn't taken my makeup off, so I was standing there with an inch of red lipstick and two round circles of blush on my cheeks like an asshole.
FRAN
He must have thought you were one of those insane homeless women who put on makeup badly and think they look good.
ME
He must have been surprised that I was only getting Pepsi!
FRAN
"Would you like some Sterno with that?"
ME
"Or some lighter fluid?"
FRAN
"Would you like to buy three cigarettes?"
Today's horoscope:
Your family can be more detached about what's going on now and can take steps to improve a tense situation. Be open to change.
One year ago today:
...I replied that neither did I know how to get to the moon from here, but for the general direction "up".
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Melissa!
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Last Updated Sat 25 March 18:14:09 2000